Nameless
by Desertkitt
Summary: JacobOC. About 1,000 miles away from the wolves and vampires, an outsiders blood, seems to be boiling, changing. How will Jacob confront his future, and his duty, when he can't let go of the past?
1. Pt 1 Ch 1

I shuddered in my tank top from the prospect of the future. Mom thought I was cold, but I refused to put on a sweater. If my mom was going to force me into this God-forsaken frozen land, the least I could do was let her believe I was going to freeze for it and therefore make her feel worse for what she was going to do to me. 

Actually, as we drove through the smaller town of Forks, I was pleasantly surprised. It was so cute, and awesome and adorable. Totally everything I had ever wanted, everyone here must be their own legends. I laughed at my own thought. My mother glared at me.

"That's right." I hissed, "I forgot I was your 'secret sin'." Unfortunately, people would stare as we drove by. _They must not get new people here often_ I mused, totally enthralled with the small clumps of city, and then the expanses of trees.

We drove past the school, and I snorted. "Even Fortuna is larger than this dump!" I complained, though I was truly overjoyed.

My mom glared, mean as she was. It's not that she hated me, but that she wasn't ready to be a parent when I was born. A small woman, 115 pounds, 5'3", curly blonde hair she kept shoulder length, stunning blue eyes, and pale. Her past was wild and littered with broken hearts and snuffed out, self-rolled smokes; her present was not much different, minus four children. She was nothing like me.

The 12 hour drive with her was almost unbearable, and I was glad when she mumbled we were halfway there. The trees thickened, I could hear everything around me, and the smell of forest. Not the city, not of pot and alcohol, but of my sweet pine. My heart trilled, I felt my eyes change to bright green, almost blue.

She stopped, "Here we are."

Aghast, I stepped out of the small Thunderbird (which needed a new transmission), and onto the unpaved dirt road. The taint of salt stung my nose, the sky was brilliant grey, as if the sun was sleeping behind a thin mist. The wind kicking up snagged my unbrushed hair. For some odd reason, I felt at home.

Billy's POV:

I stared out the window as the car crunched to a grinding halt. My old heart was happy to again see my long lost student. I rolled my wheel chair around, to greet her, when the sight of something caught my eye.

Stunned, I rolled back around my eyes locked onto the figure with my old student. She was taller, her skin copper, her golden hair flashed with red and lighter blond as the wind pulled it this way and that. I could tell by her physical structure that she had Cherokee in her blood, and some other dark skinned-breed of human. Stunned as I was, it didn't match the electricity that flew from her eyes as she turned on me, meeting my gaze. Her bright eyes were blue against her dark skin, and were alive with such electricity and fire that I couldn't breathe for a moment.

I yelled for Jacob. If anyone could handle Wild Fire knocking on their door, it would be him.

(END)

I knocked on the door, finally pulling my sweater over my head. Mom looked up at me, a smirk on her face.

"You know, there are a lot of cute boys here..." She grinned her grin, and I was horrified.

"MOTHER!?" I quickly lowered my voice, "I am not going to date anyone here just because you're not around okay? I said I'm waiting for him to run me over with his car, and I'll do just that."

She made a pouty face, "You're no fun. You're young, enjoy it, have a boyfriend."

"I've had two." I pointed out, "And I don't want a boyfriend, I want 'forever'."

"Well," A strange, deep voice commented dully, "Isn't that sweet?"

I bristled, feeling my proverbial hackles rising. "Hello, can we come in?" _Jerkwad._

An older man in a wheelchair rolled out, and Mom smiled. "Billy!!"

"Keri Ashton." His voice was full of reminisce. "Who is this lovely young lady?" I retreated further into my pull over.

"This is Karissa. Karissa, say hello to Uncle Billy."

I walked up to him and shook his hand, "Billy." He seemed not at all surprised by my formality. The rude man who answered the door was standing behind him. I couldn't help but sneak a peek. His bare chest was sculpted and he was thin, but muscular. The perfect vision of a Native American. I felt myself blush. Contrary to what I felt earlier, I now was comparing myself to him. I had thinned out a little, but I had a small zit on the further corner of my chin, and I was still too fat, not enough muscle.

Pulling me out of my thoughts was the jovial laughter. I glared sharply at Mom as her false giggle trilled, slicing at my ear drums.

"Keri!" Billy laghed, "I don't think you've met Jacob! This is my son, Jacob Black."

She smiled at him in a way that churned my insides. Billy assumed that a breeze had blown and we were getting chilled by the way I had shivered, "Come in, come in. Tell me all about your visit and why you've brought such pleasant company!"

I hissed, walking into the small house. It seemed small when we all sat down, Jacob nearly folding in on himself. I curled into a corner on the worn couch, staring at the trees, listening intently, though no one could tell I was.

"Well," Mom started, as if this was a pleasure trip, "We had an... incident this last week. Karissa got a burning fever, it let up a little, but she's still very warm to the touch. Just this last day, before I called you, I went into her room, and a deer carcass was on the floor, and her, covered in it's blood. She was naked, and I'm afraid that she's getting into some stuff at Fortuna..."

I fought the tears threatening to spill over my eyes. I had to remind myself to breathe. Anger was taking over me like a red hot fire, coursing through my veins, flooding my mind. _How dare you?!_ I cursed her mentally, _I'm out of control?! Who had to fish your sorry butt out of a toilet the other night, you were so drunk? Who put your children to bed and delt with your fists?_

I was hyperventilating, I couldn't stop the hot course of tears down my face.

Mom looked at me out of the corner of her eye; her fasle mothering front defeated by the small wicked grin she gave me. "I think she's Satanic, Billy. I really don't know what to do about-"

I stood, facing Billy, Jacob. The looks on their faces was more than I could stand. They must think something's wrong with me. I couldn't tell them, though. They wouldn't understand. They lived on their simple reservation, they weren't changing into some freakish over grown dog, they didn't lose control.

They were not monsters.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, whipping out of the door in a speed that I should not have allowed to be shown in front of people like them. I left, I kicked into fifth gear, the trees streaking by. I came to an empty spot, stripped myself, and felt the beautiful pain of the change.

My bones popped and muscles stretched. The worst part was when my muzzle grew. The worst part. This was different pain than that my mother or I inflicted upon me, it was righteous, complete, beautiful, whole. The finished picture was a golden brown wolf with a blonde belly. My muscles rippled as I ran with the wind, outraced the fastest car on the road, and lost myself in the only physical sport I could never before enjoy. It was freedom.

I stopped somewhere near the beach, the gulls harsh cries resounded in my ears, but wasn't as painful as my mothers laughter. My mind slowed, my hatred cooled.

And that's when they came. Thousands of them, thoughts and feelings, not my own, buffeting me, overwhelming me. I was drowning in a thousand other peoples thoughts. And then came a semi-familiar voice.

Jacob.

_Stay there. Don't move, I'll find you. _He ordered, I was worried, frantic. This didn't happen in Fortuna. I was alone and upset and never knew what happened to me. This idea of being with others was exciting, but very frightening. I began to play in the waves, pretending I didn't care just for something to take my mind off of my emotions. I was shaking off my twentieth or so wave when this huge rust red wolf overtook me, pinning me to the ground.

I yelped, startled, twisting to gain my footing. He had me pinned quick, I couldn't wriggle my way out. So I stopped. I looked at him, my heart pounding. Here was a horribly attractive being, pinning me down... my mind began to run away with the obvious thoughts. I shut my eyes tight.

_No! No, bad brain. Shut up now, please. Please?!? God, gouge out my brain._ I only opened my eyes when the thoughts stopped. _Thank you God._

_Aww. That was kind of entertaining. _

I glanced sharply up at Jacob. Was he reading my mind?

_It comes with being a werewolf. We are a pack, a unit... We are connected. Every thought and emotion we have is shared with one another when we are in our wolf forms. It infects us as humans. _

He was right. I could feel his emotions cresting and breaking upon my mind like the waves that were against my fur. He was angry, excited, afraid, but somehow distant, depressed. Noncholant. As if life no longer had any meaning.

He got up. _Let's get your clothes. I'll explain as much as I can. Then We'll get the others._

By the time we found my clothes (not much longer after, we have excellent noses), I knew everything, and then some. Bella wasn't just my best friend, she had been (in Jacobs point of veiw) the only one in my life I could ever love. The tragedy that had befallen such a seemingly simple town was as epic as Romeo and Juliet. I couldn't grasp how something so heart wrenching didn't rock the world. I was beginning to develop a pre-prejudice against the living dead for what had happened to Jacob.

I dressed, Jacob's back was to me. And we walked back, the smells were so fresh and new. I was thrilled at everything. The earthworms, the dirt, the sea, the deer twenty feet away in a protective castle of thorns, nibbling on the sweet, dew fresh grass. I twirled around, stirring up more dirt.

"How could you not be so pleased by this?" I asked, astonished when Jacob just rolled his eyes, "It's like... being... being..."

"In love?" He whispered quietly. His self pity was beginning to annoy me, but at least I understood.

"No." I hissed sharpy. His eyes narrowed. I barely understood about wolves, their heirarchy, but Jacob seemed to be the alpha... from what I could tell, anyway. I hadn't met anyone else yet. My arguing his word was like challenging him for the top spot. Not that I really cared, I was only here for a couple of days. "It's like being at peace. It's a unifying feeling, this is." I took a deep breath, smiling like an idiot, "It's like flying on wings and soaring beyond the clouds. It's like holding Death's hand to the waltz."

"People don't talk like that."

I snapped to attention, looking at him, "Why not? Like what?"

"It's too... romantic, sounds like it belongs in some crappy book by William Twain, or Marshall Shakespeare, or whatever." He had his hands thrust into the pockets of a pair of grey sweat pants he had tied to his leg. I'd have to remember to do that.

"You mean William Shakespeare and _Mark_ Twain?" I was struggling to surpress my laughter. The sheepish look on his face was just too much. "You're really cute." I decided to say, actually, he already knew what I thought of him, saying was just so much harder.

He got this alarmed look on his face. I allowed a sneer to curl my lips, "But hey! I understand, no one wants someone like me. We all want a Bella, don't we?" I was stunned at the cruel thing just said. He looked as though I had slapped him.

"I-I'm sorry." I whispered, "I'm not sure where that came from..."

"I do." He growled, trudging on. "We have this thing... werewolves do..."

I cocked my head to the side, listening, but silently wondering if I could jump high enough to land on the branch of the tree above me. "Like ninjas in those cartoons!"

He looked at me. "Sorry." I blushed, "I have these conversations in my head... and sometimes I finish them out loud..."

He shook his head, I could feel the anger radiating off of him. Was I that annoying? I skirtted in front of him, looking up through my lashes, jogging backwards like a puppy to please its master.

"Are you mad at me?" I was slightly slouched, I was in a total physical position of subserviance.

He paused, and I stopped, I imagined my tail wagging. He smiled lightly, "nah, you're just an annoying pup. You've got us now though. You've got a pack. We'll teach you."

I straightened myself in shock. I think it was then, as he walked by, as my world slowed when he cupped my cheek. It was then that I realized he wasn't a disagreeable person, he was just jaded, depressed. I clutched his hand and kissed his palm.

Tears built behind my eyes, a couple leaked out. He pulled away, his eyes narrowed. I smiled at him, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and sighed heavily. "Impressed are we?"

"Excuse me?" My eyes narrowed and we resumed our walk.

"Sam will explain it to you. We're almost back." There was an awkward silence, "So, your Mom... is she always-"

"Yes." My voice hardened, "She was not prepared for kids when she had them."

"And you are?" His eyebrow cocked, and I understood his implication. He got free reign of my mind, as I had his.

"Umm... well, no. And I am jaded because of that responsibility, but if I don't watch out for my brother and sisters, who would?"

He shook his head, and I was fascinated by the way he blended in with the forest, as if he belonged here. I smiled at myself. He did. So did I. It was always a part of me, so it must have been the same way with him.

"That doesn't mean you have to put up with her crap." I sighed as he continued.

Like I didn't know this? I did it because I had to, for my siblings, because I loved them. We were on the reservation now, Billy and Mom were talking beside the Thunderbird. Mom had this look on her face, I knew what was happening.

"Well, I'll be here for a while." I moaned, "Look. Er... listen."

Our keen ears picked up the last of their conversation.

"Of course she can stay here for a bit." Billy smiled, his voice was comforting in a way I hadn't realized before. "How long?"

"Just til the end of summer... can she come back in about August?" Moms voice was sickly sweet. And she smelled like rotten mixed with perfume. Toxic.

"It'd have to be two weeks from September, it's the only time I have off to drive her and her stuff back."

"Of course." Mom looked at us and sighed, "They are so cute together."

Jacob stiffened, and I did to, but I was a little pleased. I don't know when I had become so attatched to my personal space heater, but I had. He snorted.

"Jacob!" I mocked devotion, "Please, let me bear your babies."

I rolled my eyes as he laughed, and it was a beautiful sound.

**_Chapter 1: End_**


	2. Pt 1 Ch 2

**_Chapter 2_**

It was later that night, after I had showered and stuffed my bags into Jacob's closet, that I really had time to think about the events of the day. I had just sat down to relax, when Jacob busted into the side room they shoved me in. "You're meeting the pack." He announced, oddly happy. I grumbled, refusing to move anymore than night. Stubbornly, he swooped into the room and scooped me into his arms, carrying me out of the room, and then spun around in the hall. I was laughing hysterically.

"Why Jacob!" I gasped as he put me down, "Are you possibly flirting with me?"

"Possibly." He grinned devilishly. I sighed and pulled my hair back. Not only had I become completely obsessed with a six some odd foot Native American abruptly...

"Take me there, Kemo Sabe." I smiled.

...but I was also introduced to the rest of the pack.

Quil, unfortunately for him, was adorable. I hugged him... a lot that night. I couldn't help it, he was so sweet and kind and cute. I think everyone understood that I had 'imprinted' on Jacob. Sam had later pulled me aside that night and told me not to let the images of Bella in his mind disturb me. He explained how she was just everything his life revolved around, an obsession. I still had a chance.

As you can imagine, I was not comforted at all.

It was that night that the stories of lore were told to me, and I watched packages of hot dogs be consumed. It was kinda gross. I myself only had two. I was finally able to determine the hierarchy of the pack.

Sam, I figured out, was the obligated leader, a leader only out of necessity, but he would have been happier as the Beta. Jacob was the natural leader, the obvious alpha who was still the alpha. The human influence on the pack, the double, side-by-side leadership. Quil was kind of like the pup everyone watched and loved and protected. I was a little disturbed by the fact he was imprinted with a two year old, but watching the two of them together banished every worry out of my mind.

It was like watching an over protective and loving brother play with his baby sister. I was suddenly jealous. I had snuck glances at Jacob all night, the urge to be beside him was almost painful as I ignored it.

Some of our males wolves felt a little testosterone kick and began to wrestle. One of the younger males invited me over, saying I should show off my moves. I snorted and gave him a glare that shut him up, allowing the wolf to show in my eyes and my physical posture. I intimidated him into silence.

Sam was watching me, he cleared his throat and looked at me with a question in his eyes. I smiled, "I don't need to wrestle to know I am better."

He laughed, "I like this little Wild Fire! Where'd you get her, Billy?"

"Oh," Billy smiled in his kind way, "We're not related." Jacob turned and looked at his dad with a raised brow. Sam leaned in closer, even Leah, maybe the beta female, seemed interested, and she hated me so far.

I sighed, I hated this story.

"They used to live closer to here, Keri was a frequent to our little country parties. One night she had gotten a couple of our farmer boys into an argument with some of the less clean members of our reservation. I later confronted her. She was so messed up..." Billy's eyes took on a sad look. I hated this story. I hated how this was just incriminating proof my mother wasn't what she needed to be.

"Anyway, she came up here often for the next three or so years... My wife and I counseled her, loved her like her own parents didn't." I scoffed, then quickly slapped my hands over my mouth.

"Sorry." I muffled through them.

"What's your side of the story, Karissa?" Billy asked, maybe a little hurt and angry. I don't think anyone else really understood what my mother was but Jacob.

I looked at him defiantly, then deflated. "Very different." I glanced at Billy, when Jacob met my eyes. He was... different. I couldn't place it.

"What? I said I was sorry." I couldn't understand, and then it came to me. A horrible, sickly sweet smell that coated my throat and lungs, making it hard to breath in the scent.

Billy's eyes widened as he watched Sam and Jacob stiffen. The tussling pack broke up. As I was trying to breathe, everyone stiffened, became defensive.

"Are they so bold as to come onto our territory now?" Jacob hissed, standing, putting a hand out to me. "It's okay." He whispered to me, "Just breathe through your mouth, in and out."

I did as I was told, and the pain of the scent lessened, even though it still burned and suffocated. I turned to where Jacob was looking, where the pack was looking. "What is it?"

"A vampire."

Curious I sniffed. Yes, the horrible smell of the vampire was all over it, almost masking it, but there was something... something more...

"No..." Jacob's face tightened and relaxed all at once. Then he said something that made my heart stop beating, "Bella!"

He took off in a flash, nothing more than a bullet against the wind. I had to hold back the cry in my mouth. Sam was watching me, I could feel it. I closed my eyes, turning my sorrow to anger, turning my anger to resignation, then, I swallowed my pain.

"He'll be bringing her here." Sam offered in a kind way. "Fight fire with fire."

I couldn't understand it, but when Sam was nice to me, I felt at home. Surrounded by these boys, these men of heritage, I felt more at home than I ever had in my seventeen years.

"So, Billy, I'm not really related to you?" I sat back down on the worn log, willing my nails to harden I started to carve onto it.

"Nope." he smiled, "Why? Worried about being imprinted to a certian son of mine?"

I blushed, busying myself with my carving, "No... It's not like I wanted to be like that. I really wish it had never happened... why did it happen?"

"There are somethings in this world that cannot be explained..." Billy started, I held back a groan. "This one is simple. Wolves mate for life, therefore your minds become completely devoted to the one you are drawn to. In your case, Jacob. There are human influences upon their wolf forms, such as the joint leadership. But there are also wolf qualities in their human world."

I looked at Sam, his arm around his lady, snuggling into her hair. Then at Quil, playing with the giggling baby, the joy and love apparent in both cases.

"Do the people we imprint upon always return the feelings?" I looked back at Billy.

"That... I can not say, Karissa. It's just something that happens, and I've never seen anyone who has been turned away from the person they've imprinted upon. The level of utter adoration and love is just something a person can't say no to." He shook his head, "I cannot say. I am sorry."

I felt crest fallen. The wonderful smell of Bella, hidden underneath all of that dead was coming our way, faster and faster. Jacob must have been carrying her.

I loved Bella, out of Jacob's experience... but would I out of my own?

Leah looked at me, then at Sam. I had heard that story too. _Dear Lord!_ I prayed silently, _Please don't make me like Leah!_

Billy attempted to make light of the situation, but with that scent growing thicker, everyone was on edge, ready to pounce and attack. He grew silent and thoughtful. I watched him, wishing I looked that wise.

"Billy?" I began, he looked at me, as if waiting, hoping that I would bring something into the conversation that would lighten the mood. And then Jacob showed up with a disgruntled Bella in his arms.

I froze, smelling more than seeing the joy, the absolute joy on his face. And the look on hers. I turned around, my heart shattering as he quickly swooped down and pecked her cheek.

"Bella." Billy greeted. She seemed nervous, a tone of apprehensive tension was upon everyone. They all knew I was imprinted on Jacob, so, in a way, it was as if he were cheating on me. It was as if what had happened to Jacob, was happening to me.

I shook my head, banishing these thoughts. If that was going to happen again, then I'd just have to be stronger than Jacob. Resolutely I locked my heart away. I stood and walked over to Bella.

I stood before her and measured her up. She was beautiful, her hair was silky, she smelled like... heaven. She smelled like sweet things, homey things. She smelled... familiar. Her eyes were inviting and loving. She wasn't perfect, far from it, actually. I thought I was just as beautiful as she, if in a more wild way.

I smiled at her, glaring at Jacob, who had eyes only for the human. Resoltuely, almost glumly, I held out my hand to her, "Bella. I'm Karissa, the newest member to the pack."

She took my hand, startled. Jacobs eyes narrowed.

"But..." Bella looked at me closely, "I don't remember you, and you don't look... Like Jacob."

I laughed, I laughed hard and long and loud. "I would hope I didn't look like Jacob!" The guys behind me tittered, finally understanding. Jacob was uncomfortable and angry. "Umm... no seriously. I'm only an eigth Native American. Cherokee, to be precise. And I'm not from here. The change suddenly took me over, and my mom... well... she kinda flipped when she found a dead deer in my room. She brought me here and dumped me."

"How old are you?" She asked, totally fascinated.

"I'm seventeen. Eighteen this September." I smiled at her. Getting along with this girl was like breathing. It was just something you stepped into and floated in. She was easy going and like-able.

"So Bella, what's going on with you?" I smiled, leading her towards the camp fire, slinging my arm around her shoulders. Jacob made a noise low in his throat, following almost glumly.

"Umm..." She blushed, "Actually, I came here to invite you all to my wedding."

"You smell bad." Jacob growled.

"Jacob!" I reached over and yanked on his arm, "Stop being such a jerk!" I had already known about the wedding, Jacob's personal _Love Edward_ letter was always the upmost thought in his mind, along with the wondering of how he would crash this event and win Bella back.

"So Bella, when is it?" She grinned, looking at me, as if I had known her for longer than anyone else here. I smiled back, how could I not?

"It's in July." She grinned, "Two months from today."

"July?" Jacob sounded as though someone had admitted to drowning his kitten. "Why so soon Bella?" He turned cold, angry, standing with the vehemence of his frustration and hurt, "So eager to die? So eager to leave your friends, your family?"

As he was yelling, I looked around, unsure of what to do. Everyone else seemed afraid to stand up to him. Bella was near tears, barley holding onto her composure.

"Aren't you the least bit curious of what it's like to live?! Can't you-" His head fell backwards as his body flew across the clearing. Slowly he stood, wiping the blood off his cheek, glaring at me.

"Ow!" I whispered, shaking my fist off. I think I broke something with that hit.

Everyone was looking at me, the newbie who had the guts to stand up for the damsel in distress. "How dare you?" I spoke up, "How dare you talk to a girl you are so in love with in such a manner?" He opened his mouth to speak, and I was in front of him, glaring into his eyes, "If you really loved her, you would let her go. Love is not selfish, greedy, or rude. You have been that and more so."

"You pompus little bi-" I spun on him, more fury unleashing itself that night than any other.

"You have no idea." I growled, "You have done wrong to her, you will stand down, or I will fight you, and you will die."

He looked at me, stopped cold, shocked. No one had ever treated him so, I could bet my life on it in that moment. Out of pure pride and habit, he began to rise his fist, clenching his fingers so tight, his knuckles were bone white. Torn I reached out, touching his cheek.

"Jacob." I whispered, allowing my pain and frustration and hurt and absolute love for him flood my voice, "Look at her, look at what you've done." He met her eyes, she was scared, lonely, depressed and sorrowful. "In ways," I continued, not able to look at him, "You have delt her worse than a physical blow, Jacob. Please, stand down."

He then forced me to look at him, into his eyes, so warm and deep, and then faded away into the night, leaving me to deal with the woman I just fought the alpha for, the woman who held his heart in the palm of her hand. My enemy.

"I'm sorry." She was a foreign noise in unfamiliar territory.

"Of course." I was afraid to move. "Please, come back to visit me soon, and bring Edward. I'd like to meet him, this man who has destroyed the one I love."

Her gasp showed she wasn't expecting my words, "So... you're..."

"Imprinted upon Jacob." I turned to her, "It was not a choice, merely a force beyond me. Please, go now, come back tomorrow with Edward, or next week. Give Jacob time to restore himself."

"I-I didn't mean to hurt you... or him." She was behind me, touching my shoulder. I'm sure she could feel the tremble of unshed tears and blows.

"No." I responded, "You haven't hurt anyone, the worst wound Jacob is going to have to get over is the fact that he caused you more pain than anyone else, in the end."

I sat by the dying fire until long after everyone had left. I was asleep long before the large red-brown wolf curled beside me, but woke up before he was asleep. I kissed his nose.

"I'm sorry, love." I murmured, half asleep, thinking I was dreaming. I wrapped my arms around his neck, curled into his body.

In the throes of dreaming grasp and cold night winds, I thought I heard him say:"Me too."

**Chapter 2: End**


	3. Pt 1 Ch 3

**Chapter 3**

I awoke that morning, a perfectly human Jacob wrapping me in his arms. I couldn't still my heart, so instead of thinking about what happened to make him hug me, I focused on his face, the shape and sharp cheek bones, the curve of his lip, the tint of his skin. Absent mindedly, I moved some of his shaggy hair out of his face.

He stirred under my touch and woke up, his chocolate black eyes stole my breath.

"Good morning." I whispered, letting my hand fall back under my head.

He smiled, "So that's why I was so warm last night! Something this hot doesn't belong in my arms."

I blush furiously, "Jacob... about last night. I'm real-"

He held his finger to my lips, "I was in the wrong. I had a lot of time to think last night, while you slept. And I might try to make this work between us."

I blinked, "What?"

He sat up, intertwining our fingers. "I have realized that I am nothing good for Bella." his voice dropped to a tearful whisper, "I only hurt her by putting myself between her and Edward. Again and again I've held onto the belief that I could somehow make her heart change and love me more... but... In the end, when my plan doesn't work, all I do is lose my temper and hurt her... Like... kind of like Sam."

I sat up, shocked, "You mean Sam did that to..." I couldn't remember his mate's name at the moment, "her?"

"Yeah. You'll figure out why when we all change together, one way or another." Jacob was completely crest fallen. It was breaking my heart, drowing my spirits. And after such a good night!

I knelt forward, almost against my own instinct, and kissed the corner of his mouth, almost his cheek. It was a sweet, innocent, caring kiss. I abruptly pulled away. The blush on my cheeks was nothing more than words enough for the moment.

I finally gained the courage to look into his eyes. They were wide, shocked... but also intense. As if a fire had been lit within him. He touched the corner of his mouth, then smiled.

"Wow. Bella never kissed me like that." Jacob grinned his crooked grin. I almost laughed, except I was a little sick of Bella right then. "Come on." He said suddenly, pulling me up with him.

"What? Where to?" He scooped me into his arms, I began to feel a bit alarmed. "Where to, Jacob Black!!!"

"My friends call me Jake, by the way." I snorted, I knew that. "And, we're going to go swimming."

My eyes widened, and I began fighting him. Unfortunately, I found out that last night was more of a fluke surprise attack than pure brawn. He held me firmly against his chest, running through the forest, dodging massive trees, skimming the ground, stepping over roots.

Before I had realized what happened, he was perched on the edge of a relatively high cliff. "Take a deep breath, Kriss. We're going under."

"Jacob, no, Jacob wait!!" He lept off the side, me in his arms. With no choice left, I sucked in as much air as I could.

The cold water crashed over my hea,d sucking me further under. Startled, I realized Jacob had somehow fallen and grabbed onto my ankle. I rolled my eyes, that salt water stingning like mad.

I grabbed his hand a hauled him up to the surface with me.

"You flippin' idiot!" I yelled, "What was this for?! What did I possibly do to deserve THIS?!?!" He grinned and I felt my resolve melting, "And don't you ever wear a god forsaken SHIRT?!"

He smiled, his puffed cheeks hiding the spray of water he showered me with. "What is wrong with you?!" I screeched. "That is so gross! DO you know how many animals have urinated and crapped in this?!"

He laughed his evil Jacob laugh, "Me included." He volunteered. I shuddered.

"You are nasty." I smiled, following him as he swimmed closer to shore, plotting my revenge.

As soon as we were close enough to shore, the water was about six inches over Jacobs head, I swam up beside him and planted my hands firmly on top his head.

Much to my pleasure, he sunk like a rock. I launched off his head, putting distance between myself and him. He spalshed through the surface, his hair sticking up everywhich way, causing me to go into a fit of hysterical giggles.

He swooped towards me, scooping me in his arms, spinning me around and dropping me with a splash.

My sides hurt form laughing so hard, "You should have seen your hair!" I howled, tear streaming down my face.

"Are you crying?" He sounded incredulous.

"Well, I have over productive tear ducts." I defended, wiping at my eyes until I realized we were in the ocean.

"You do?" His eyebrow cocked and he folded his arms over his chest.

"Yes... well, at least I say so." I splashed water at him playfully. "I cry when I laugh, cry, sneeze, yawn and cough." I stretched out, allowing the ocean to take me in and out with the tide, floating above the foam and the water life. I closed my eyes, concentrating on nothing except the feel. I was nothing, I felt at peace.

I drifted along, until I realized Jacob was being quite, too quite. I sat up, noticing I was a ways out. Jacob was still standing there staring at one of the further off cliffs.

_Who is he thinking about?_ I wondered, gazing at him slowly making my way towards him. _Weren't we having fun?_

He seemed so forlorn. The water was about knee deep where he was, waist deep where I was. The water on his body was steaming, some of it lucky enough to drip off and join the fuller body of things. His shoulder length hair was wet, sticking to his face when the wind blew. He was so enthralled with this thought he didn't hear me walk up to him, he jumped when I grabbed his hand.

Why did I have to love him like this? Looking at his face, his beautiful face hurt me, I felt as though I was going to die if I couldn't absorb all of him. I knew, at that moment who he was thinking of. It hurt me to know my love was unrequited, it hurt to know that I couldn't change my mind and love someone else. It hurt.

"Kriss." The guilt in his voice made his laugh shakey, uncertian.

"Who were you thinking of?" I could barely trust my voice to speak, I was either going to cry or scream at the malstrome of emotions within me.

"Kriss..." his voice took on a saddened tone, as though I had accused him. Maybe I had.

I grabbed his hand, not trusting my voice. I yanked on it, _follow me_. I willed, when he didn't I left him there. I trudged through the sand, stopping abruptly, looking back. Jacob was close on my tail, I looked at our foot prints. Part of me was surprised to see human prints. Part of me was expecting wolf tracks to be dragging out of the ocean, wet, heavy solid.

He grasped my shoulder with one hand, moved some of my hair out of my face with the other. "Kriss, what is wrong?"

"Who were you thinking of?" Did I really want to know, did I have to know? Jacob looked like I was dragging his heart out with a hook.

"I-I... look, you know this is hard for me too. It's not like I can just forget about-"

"Who were you thinking about?!" I yelled, melting my tears with anger.

"Bella." The words crushed me, even though I knew what he was going to say, even though I knew all along.

I removed his hand from my shoulder and clasped it firmly, "You are coming with me."

His eyes widened in surprise, "What?! Where?"

"To forget about Bella."

Maybe that was selfish, but if I was going to have Jacob I wanted all of him. Bella couldn't be there, in the shadows of his mind, waiting to take him away anymore. I had to have him to myself, or else I would surely go mad.

After our incident in the ocean, the next week seemed to go along smoothly. Jacob and I fought and made up and laughed and wrestled. We played and flirted, ran and ninja jumped. He took me on his motorcycle, even let me drive it (much to his horror). I even got to run with the pack in wolf form. I got teased for it though. I guess the assumption is that, because I'm Cherokee and not Quileute, I'm a different breed of wolf. Not only was my coloring unusually bright, but my muzzle was more thin, my body shorter, my legs longer, my ears larger, as well as my eyes. The overall structure of my wolf form, Jacob teased, was more of a cat. The rest of the pack picked it up. Now I'm the cat-girl.

It was Saturday afternoon, I was relaxing with Jacob on the couch. I was sprawled out, his head cushioned on my belly, our fingers intertwined on one hand, my other hand was playing with his hair.

"This is the dumbest show in the world." he groaned.

I yanked on his hair sharply, "No, it's not. Avatar happens to be pretty dang good, all things considered." We sat there, Billy over at Charlie's house, probably trilling on and on about how Jacob finally was getting over Bella. I was actually proud of myself. In about a week I occupied as much of his thoughts as Bella.

I leaned back on the couch, closing my eyes, when the scent hit me. Startled I froze up, lifitng my head, looking out the window. _Vampire? Why would there be a vampire...?_ And then I remembered.

"Hey... Jake." He sat up, looking at me funny. I never called him Jake unless I was admitting to something, or apologizing, "I forgot to say that I invited Bella over this weekend..."

He smiled at me, "That's okay." He brought me into a hug, "I'll try my best to pay attention only to you."

"No-" I pushed away, "No, that's not it... I also invited Edward."

Jacob froze, the look on his face was horrible, "What?!"

**Chapter 3: End**


	4. Pt1 Ch4

**Chapter 4**

I shuffled to the kitchen, trying to get past the nauseous stench coming from Edward, and he wasn't even here yet. I stuffed something into the oven, rubbed at my watering eyes, changed my clothes. I also threw my hair into a bun.

When I came out of the bathroom, I was stunned to see half the pack in the living room. Sam, Seth, Emily, Leah, Quil, and some of the younger boys who were wrestling at the beginning of the week. I nearly fainted. Jacob's living room was not large enough for some overgrown man-dogs and a couple of pretty ladies.

"Why are you all here?" I asked, compeltely dumbfounded.

Jacob turned to me, angry and fuming, "Why else, Kriss? There's a vampire coming and none of us knew about it!"

"That's not true!" I protested, holding my fists to my sides. He was so immature! "I invited them in front of everyone but you."

He stopped, glaring at Sam, "Why was I not told?"

Sam shrugged, "One alpha knew, why did the other? Besides, I know you have... Well, we all know you have a personal grudge. Wouldn't have allowed it."

"NO, I wouldn't've allowed it!" He was trembling.

And the smell was getting thicker, stronger, sickeningly potent.

"Everyone, out!" I opened the door, looking at them. Everyone except for Leah, Emily, Sam and Jacob left.

"Leah." I growled. Just because she was so pretentous. She was not alpha, she didn't belong.

She stalked towards the door, growling at me as she passed. I really felt the need to slap her in the back of the head, but ignored it. The urge died down when she was gone.

"Jacob, you will be nice."

"But-"

"No buts!" I hissed in his face, "You will be nice, or you will leave your house. Am I understood?"

He blushed, and then mumbled.

"Good." I nodded, "Bella would probably be upset if you weren't here anyway. Sam... Emily... will you two behave?" I couldn't believe I asked them that, and blushed deep red. "Sorry... I don't know my place." I mumbled hoarsely.

Sam laughed and Emily giggled. "Honey, you don't have to apologize, you are alpha as far as we can tell." She glanced at Jacob, and then back tracked, "Or, at least we asee you as alpha."

"Sorry." I mumbled, walking towards the door, opening it for our two guests, and being slapped in the face for my manners. I was trying hard not to gag. It was a horrible scent. The only saving grace in it was Bella's sweet scent wafting and mingling through. Almost barely there.

"Whew!" I gasped, seeing them pull in. "Edward has a nice car!"

Jacob looked at me startled, "Do you know anything about cars?"

"Well... no. But I can tell it's nice." I walked out there, hugging Bella. She looked as beautiful as ever. I was jealous, but tried to brush it off. She was clothed in love and shining, positively glowing from head to toe. I wanted that look, I wanted to be so happy.

"Edward!" I gasped, finally looking at him.

"Hello." He smiled demurly. I had no such grace. I gaped.

"He's so hot Bella!" I grabbed her hand, "And he's got such a beautiful car!"

He laughed, "Thank you Karissa. Where's everyone?"

"They heard a vampire was coming, piled into our house- er, Jacob's house! I made them leave, annoying twits when they want to be." I guess my honesty was weird because Bella just stared and Edward laughed again. His silent laugh. "Edward... Umm... sorry, but you smell bad."

He roared with laughter at that one. Bella hit my arm lightly. She rememembered what it felt like to punch Jacob. The same would happen with me.

"Karissa, you don't smell so..." he walked up to me, sniffing. "Actually, you don't smell all that bad. A little like dog, but mostly like human. Why is that?"

"I smell different?" I was stunned I never knew.

"Yeah." Came a foreign voice, "You smell like carnations or something. Well, sometimes you smell like chocolate brownies or something cooking. But mostly carnations."

"Jacob?" I was shell shocked. He was being nice. He walked up to me, smiled, and then swooped Bella into a huge hug.

"Carnations...?" Edward was quite, "Yes, I guess so." I smiled at him. "Jacob, on the other hand, smells like bloody wet dog."

I shuddered. Jacob did sometimes. But others times he smelled... delicious? Handsome? I couldn't put my mind on it once I had thought about how he smelled.

"You're one to talk Blood- I mean, Edward." He smiled, and it was really forced. I broke the tension.

"Let's go inisde, I'm making something in case you're hungry, Bella. You too, Eddy-boy. Unless you're not hungry."

Edward laughed, "I'm always hungry, but human food is disgusting."

The look on Edward's face was utterly disturbing as I caught his meaning. "You can't eat?! Like, what about doughnuts?"

He shook his head, we all followed Jacob and Bella as they chatted ahead, leading us towards the house. "Ice cream? BBQ chicken?"

Again, more head shaking. "I am so sorry!"

He looked at me, smiling. "Why?"

I was dazed for a moment, "Because, Eddy-boy, I love food. So I can just imagine how it is for you. So I'm sorry."

He chuckled, looking absent mindedly at the two ahead of us.

"So, what is Jacob thinking?" I whispered very quietly, so that they couldn't hear.

"He's jealous that you're talking to me, but he's happy Bella is here." Edward was leaving something out, but I didn't care.

"Do you care if I call you Eddy-boy?" I aked, smiling at Jacob as he held the door open for us. "Thank you." I said sincerely, looking at Jacob.

Edward laughed. "He's now jealous that you have a nickname for me and not him."

Jacib stiffened. I sighed, Bella stiffled laughter, looking uneasy between our men from opposite worlds. I caught Sam and Emily slinking out the back door from the corner of my eye. _Oh well._ I thought, _There'll be more room... I suppose._ Though I was completely terrified. I turned on Edward, things were going to be laid on the line, flat and clear.

"Edward, I gave Jacob the same speech I'll give you now. If either of you cause problems, you will be thrown out. Edward, if you start a fight, you will leave, but Bella will stay. If she wants to, of course." I smiled her way. "There is no reason why we can't get along, I think you two species are just stubborn buttfaces."

Jacob looked at me, stunned. "Buttfaces?"

"Yes." I turned to Bella, "Come on, talk to me about... girl... stuff!" We both grimmaced, heading towards the kitchen.

"It sounds like torture when you put it that way." She moaned.

"It is." I confirmed, "But it must be done." for emphasis, I slapped my fist into my open palm. We sat down at the table, only to be stunned by both Edward and Jacob pulling up seats.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked, and eyebrow raised.

"Sitting." The boys answered in unison.

"No, you're not. This is "girl" talk, what part of it says boys?"

"But-"

I glared at Jacob, "No buts, remember? Get along with our little leech here. No offense, it's endearing terms, Eddy-boy. Now leave!"

"Where to?" They both seemed lost. Bella sighed.

"Just go to the living room or something." She moaned, "We're going to chill. Mano y mano."

I looked at her, holding back my laughter. Edward gently corrected Bella, who blushed her little blush. Jacob was just livid and uncomfortable. I looked at him, then smiled. He was so cute when he was jealous and upset.

"Please?" I whispered, audible only to the supernatural of hearing.

"Alright, alright! C'mon Blood- er, Edward. Eddy-boy, whatever." He grabbed Edwards collar and yanked softly, "Let's leave them to chit-chat."

Edward looked at Jacob warily. "Thanks."

"Whatever." Jacob rolled his eyes. They left. I looked at Bella.

"So, what's it like being engaged to someone perfect?"

------------------- (time lapse)

Bella and I were blasting something from Elvis, basting the chicken (smothering it really) with some hickory smoke barbeque sauce, dancing aroudn the kitchen. I was again amazed at how easy, how confortable it was for me to be around this human girl. Her scent was entrancing, her easy laugh, her cute blushes. It was a sif I had known her for all my life.

She sat down, sliding into a confortable position in the chair. "Yolu know, Kriss, it's nice to be here with my boys and not have to worry about them fighting." She proceeded to tell me some stories bout the past, something about Jacob and Edward, but I had stopped listening, there was a much more interesting conversation going on in the next room.

_"Well." I could hear Edward sit back in the recliner across from Jacob, "Kriss seems to be quite the nice girl, she's funny and smart, and much more sweet than you guys up here."_

_Jacob huffed leaning forward, "I am trying to accept this girl, you know. It's sweet, her devotion, she seems to be on my mind as much as Bella, now a days, but... She just... it's not the same."_

_Edward supressed a laugh, "Of course it's not the same. Kriss challenges your supremacy, she brings out the best of you without you knowing it. Bella is just not enough to control your werewolf urges. how do I explain. I am not insulting Bella, I'm saying that Kriss seems to be better suited for a life where she's one of the guys. She seems happy, comfortable, though her heart is a little bruised."_

I could almost feel the harsh glare being shared between the guys. I smiled and exclaimed at whatever Bella had said and began to think. First off, Jacob had admitted to knowing I was in his thoughts as much as Bella. Edward saw the differences between myself and our girl. I looked at her, she was still talking, it was about Edward, she was playing with the ring on her finger. Second thought that crossed my mind was about Edward. _Couldn't he read minds?_

I resumed to listening to the boys.

_"You are so pompus!" Jacob hissed "Just because you can see my thoughts does not mean you understand what I'm thinking."_

_"Quite the opposite." Edward was becoming terse. _I wished too, in that moment, I could hear peoples thoughts. _"I understand quite well what you're thinking, and I suggest you stop right now."_

_Jacob smiled, laughed , "Can't understand a man's train of thoughts? Figures, you are nothing more than crystallized age wrapped in stone. You can't even keep Bella warm."_

_I heard Edward stand, "Stop thinking those things,_ _I implore you." Edward sighed, "Besides." He added, sitting, "You just feel de-manned because Bella chose me, not you."_

I could feel the anger, smell the anger, the hate the tension. It smelled like charcoal, like burning flesh. My eyes widened, "The chickens burning."

Bella stopped mid sentence, "Really?"

"Yerp." I grabbed the oven mits, sighing in relief when the arguing between the boys stopped. I was afraid I was going to have to go out there and break it up.

I let Bella fuss over the vegetables, add the finishing touches and set the table. Said she felt bad because she almost let dinner burn. I hid a smile. It wasn't close to really burning, it was just that I had a sensitive nose.

"Edward!" She sang, I looked at her. "He may not be able to eat, but he can still enjoy the effort we went through."

I wondered how she would be able to handle never eating human food again, how she would be able to stand never using her taste buds but to the same meal of blood. I could never have done it. In a silent, angry, stunned shocked trance I sat at the table, bowed my head for prayer.

Jacob sighed, "Do I have to pray again?"

I glared, "No. I mean, God just created everything, why should we thank him for it?"

Edward chuckled, but his eyes looked worried. My mood did not improve when he folded his hands and began to utter a prayer for the food we were about to consume.

"Lord, bless this food, and thank you for our hosts, and may they be healthy and happy. Bless my Bella, give Jacob strength, fortify Karissa in her future, in her struggles. And Lord," He finished, "Save a place for me when I return to you."

Startled I snapped my eyes open, to see a few tears dry themselves on his cheeks. He looked at me. "Sorry."

The weight of the word he said was more than just for becoming overly emotional, but for the intentional and unintentional hurt he had inflicted upon me during the living room episode. Our eyes met, and I smiled after catching my breath. "No problem." I smiled wide, then looked at Jacob, who was frowning at me.

"Eat." I kicked his shin lightly under the table. "Bella and I did it ourselves."

Bella blushed, "No, you did a lot of it... I just kind of helped."

"Oh yeah." I snorted after swallowing my first taste of the chicken, which was absolutaly delicious, "You just helped me cook the whole thing, that's all. And set the table. And brought the Prayer-Man."

Jacib chocked a little. I sent him a stern glare, "You alright?"

He nodded, his eyes watering, "I just need a drink. Went down the wrong tube."

Bella got up and followed him, "Are you sure you're okay?"

He nodded, grabbing a thick plastic cup. We didn't have glass anymore, it usually shattered upon contact with the warm skin of our kind. He filled it with water and brought it back to the table, meeting my gaze. I rose an eyebrow, questioning him. He shook his head, gulped and began to devour the meal. When I finished my second helping, Bella her first, Jacob had sucessfully devoured five whole courses. I felt a little nauseated. Watching him eat was both fascinating and disgusting.

Bella handed me her empty plate, I collected Jacobs and my own. I walked to the sink, setting them in, about to say Edward and Jacob had to wash them, when I spotted the two engaged twining fingers. This was probably the first day they've ever been close in love, but far in physical experience. I felt bad keeping them from being together.

"Jacob!" I shouted, "Help me wash the dishes. Bella, go take Edward and watch a movie in the living room or something." I looked at Edward, _Jacob and I are going to have a talk._

He groaned and lifted himself o his feet, "Ma'am?"

"You dry and put away, I'll wash. And keep quite, you and I need to speak." He groaned. "Why are you being such a pest? Did you think I wouldn't hear you and Edward speaking?"

He blushed and shifted nervously. "It's not like Edward doesn't push my buttons anyway. Besides, I didn't say anything that bad. I was trying to keep my manners."

"So what exactly did you think to make Edward so angry?"

"I... I uh, well... Umm..." I shoved a plate in his direction.

"Yes?" I scrubbed at a slight sticky spot, "You know, innocent people don't stumble over their words."

He slammed the plate down, "I was thinking of Bella!" He growled. I blushed. "If you need to know, you self righteous alpha wanna be, I was imaginine her and I, swimming-"

My blood began to boil as he went into descriptions of what he imagined just for Edward. "And you know what?" He hissed in a way I kne wthen this was just to spite me, "I don't really know why everyone puts so much credit on you. You're selfish, stubborn. You are prideful and angry and-"

I had snapped. I flung Jacob against the wall opposite us, my forearm pressing into his throat. "You pretentous bastard!" I screamed, "How dare you attempt to hurt me like this?!"

I heard feet, I smelled Bella, her fear. They were right outside, on the outskirts of the kitchen. Edward would take care of her. Jacob smirked, my eyes narrowed, this may get out of hand.

"You aren't as in contorl as you pretend." I screamed pure fury, withdrawing my hand to deliver a punch right between his chocolate brown eyes. He ducked, swirling out of my range.

I followed him, slamming him against the wall in the living room. "How dare you treat me like this!" I could feel something in the back of my mind, just faintly buzzing. My anger blotted it out. "Why?" I yelled, slamming my foot into his face. I heard Bella scream as his head snapped back in an inhuman way. But we weren't human. He'd be fine. I wiated for him to regain his composure, wiping the blood off his face. I glared death.

"You... you kicked me!" His eyes were wide. I kicked him in the balls. He doubled over, but brought the momentum into his hand, his fist connected with my right cheekbone. My head lifted, I felt myself twirling. In my perephrial vision, I caught Sam and Emily watching in shock, standing just inside of the back hallway. I faintly heard Edward asking something, though I couldn't make it out.

Finally the floor crashed into my body, my vision went spotted. When it cleared, I saw Jacob, looking stunned, disgusted. Not at me, but himself.

"Now do you understand?" Edward asked quietly, "Do you understand why you can't be with Bella?"

"I-I..." Jacob slumped into submittance of the truth, "I am so sorry..." He turned to go, when I lept up, grabbed his collar and slammed him into the wall again.

"You think this is about Bella, Jacob?" I snarled, getting in his face. "It's not. It's about us. I spent all ths wekk doing my best to please you, to be your friend, to be more to you than Bella could be, and this is what happens? Is it in your nature to play with girls like this? Or have you just picked the ones who would give into your charms and your attitude?" He began to reply, but I cut him off, "You will either love me, or not, but I. Will. Not. Be. Your. Second. Choice." I added a punch in his gut to enchance the meaning of my words. He began to sag against my grip, trying to slip to the floor.

I looked at him, tears streaming down my face. Why did he have to be so stubborn? So blockheaded? Why couldn't this have just been an easy discussion? I looked in his eyes, this was Jacob. He never did anything easy. I smiled, clasping his face in both my hands, using my body to keep him standing. "I love you." I whispered, then kissed his cheek and let him fall to the ground. He curle dinto a small ball on his side, coughing up some sort of liquid. Maybe vomit.

I backed away, "Please, please realize that." I looked at the wall, the kitchen. It was trashed. Not only were there dents and holes in the cheap plaster, but there was blood on the roof and a little on the carpet. The wall looked like a five year old went happy with paint. I sighed, looking at Sam and Emily. Emily was looking at Jacob, Sam was focusing on Bella, who seemed to be in some sort of shock. I felt the dispair rising t what I had done. I fought with the alpha, I took a turn in time that I could never erase, never back step. I felt the weight of my decision settle on my shoulders. Jacob hated me, Bella was afraid of me, even Sam and Emily wouldn't look in my direction.

And then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Edward?" He smiled that million-watt smile. I almost cried.

"You did a good thing, besides, I don't think everyone hates you that much." I followed his gaze to Jacob, who was still on the ground, now looking at the ceiling, in a kind of reverie.

"Jacob, you okay?" He looked at me in a calm way that was eerie.

"Come here." He motioned me over. I sat next to him. He grabbed my fingers, then lifted his shirt.

I stared at him questioningly. There was no way in Heaven I would feel him up with all these people around. Edward laughed behind me, I felt myself turn red. "What are you doing?"

I looked at Sam and Emily, "What is he doing?"

Bella stared, and then whispered quitely, "You're a wolf, right?" And then it struck me. He was offering me his belly. He was forfeiting, he was saying I was right. I put my free hand over my mouth, tears welling at my eyes again. Slowly, ever so slowly he lowered my hand onto his belly. Fascinated I watched as he tensed his whole body, Edwards face went dark as Jacob, I'm sure, went through some pretty gruesome mental images.

Then Sam spoke up, "You have to draw his blood. It's law."

Startled I looked between him and Emily. She seemed to be a little disturbed at her husband's unfaltering abiding.

"Sam.. does she really...?" He nodded, looking at us sadly. My hand was once again clasped around Jacob's. His breathing was ragged, harsh. I could feel his heartbeat increase, I could read his body. He was expecting me to kill him. I grimmaced.

Sam ushered everyone out of the room, leaving the two of us behind. "Did you know about that rule?"

He nodded, his hair shaggy and in his face, almost perfectly matching the scene. I smiled, placing my mouth onto his stomach.

He flinched. It made me almost cry that he was so afraid to be touched by me.

And I kissed it.

As I pulled away he sat up, looking at me with shock, but most importantly, with different eyes than before. There was almost... love, admiration in his eyes. "Is that it?"

I laughed, "I've already spilt your blood, have I not?"

He hesitated, then placed one hand on my face, in my hair. Before I realized what was going on, he was kissing me. He pulled me onto his lap, hugging me.

"What brought this change?" My voice was low and soft, as if I was singing a lullabye.

"I realized, somewhere between the punches and the tears, that you were right, and that I... well..." He snuggled closer. I played with his hair. "I realized I've loved you... but Bella too... I'm not explaining right. I loved Bella for the human in me. I loved her because she represented what I could have been, what I used to be. I loved her because she was the untouchable thing, the first crush." I listened, not quite sure where he was going.

"But, for some reason, it just hit me that I loved you. Before, you were just one of us, one of the pack. You were my best friend, some one I talked to about nothing, you understood, but you weren't as special as Bella because I couldn't have her... or maybe because I knew I didn't really want her. And then, as we were fighting, I realized you were the kind of mate I could live with. I could talk and you'd understand, we could fight and I wouldn't harm you. I realized everything about youcompliments me... but I refused to see it before."

I shoved away from him, looking at him. "So you're over Bella?"

He nodded.

"You mean, after about three months, you're finally over Bella?" He glanced at me sharply.

"It's been longer than three months, Kriss, and how would you know, you've only been here a little over a week." He was scooping his hair into a rat's tail at the base of his neck.

"And look at what I've done to you!" I squealed, tackling him to the floor and kissing his cheeks. Finally, finally, after putting all that attention and love into one thing, he was mine.


	5. Pt 2 Ch 1

**::::NAMELESS::::**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------- :::PART 2: _FACELESS_ ::: -----------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 5**

I ran through the woods, panting, Jacob on my tail. I loved this feeling, being able to run and have nothing hinder me. I felt even more free because, just three days ago, Jacob had confessed his love for me. After our little fight, Sam and Emily had spread the word that there was a new alpha female. There were a few complaints, mostly from Leah.

"How can an outsider, and someone of a different breed, be an alpha?" She walked around me, then turned her nose in the air with a haughty sniff. "She doesn't even smell like us."

Jacob started to laugh, surprising all of us. Sam looked at him a bit worried.

"No, no." He wheezed, "It's just that Leah is so jealous. It's funny to me now."

The pack looked at Leah, who had puffed up angrily, "You stupid whelp!" She poked her finger into his well defined chest. "What makes a pup like you think that-"

I grabbed her wrist hard enough to get her attention, "You will address your leader with the respect he deserves, _Beta_." She glared at me, ice dripped from her eyes and threatened to frost over my honey ones.

So far that had been the only complaint. Jacob nipped at my heel, causing me to yelp and swing around to face him, which was a mistake. We collided, bumping heads and tumbling into a tree. Somewhere inbetween the spinning and the painful bumping we had turned back in hopes to stop one another from getting badly hurt. I groaned, untangled my arm from Jacobs body and rubbed my temple.

"Are you okay?" He was sitting up suddenly, and I became consiously aware of the way he was straddling me.

There was an awkward moment of intense embarrassment.

"Get off me!" I screamed, shoving him away and quickly untying the sports bra and jeans I had strapped to my calf. I dressed as quickly as possible. When I looked up he was clothed too, his semi baggy jeans hanging form his hips in the most alluring way...

"Kriss, we're mates now, why do you seem so shy of being with me?" He inturrupted my wandering thoughts.

His question was sincere, and my reason did not come easily, even less so with his hand carressing my cheek and his breath hot on my neck. "Because, umm... Geh, Jacob... could you stop?" But every part of me wanted him to continue.

He pulled away, unconscious of the fact that he had being doing it again. It was a bad pattern we had, Jacob and I. He would tempt and tease me until I made him stop, and I would tempt and tease him until he made me stop. Sam would watch us and get aggitated.

"You are mates, for God's sake, just have sex and get it over with!" He would then storm off and sit with Emily, leaving us astonished, embarrassed, but curious and intruiged.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. I had my other half, my life's goal was complete, could life just stop there? "Jacob... I just... we're too young. I'm only seventeen, and you are just sixteen. Maybe we should wait..."

"Wait?" The vein in his neck was pulsing, he was becoming unreasonable again. I sighed, "Wait till when, Kriss? We already are attracted to one another right now, I have the body of a twenty-five year old man, and you..." His eyes started at my bare feet, halfway covered by the hem of my beat up Mud jeans, trailed up the form of my calves, my thighs, my hips and then to my exposed belly, which was finally as toned as any other werewolf female, over the pale green sports bra I wore, across my collar bone. He stopped and walked closer, "You're so gorgeous." He sighed. I could tell his anger melted into something else.

His eyes focused on my lips as he bent down to kiss me. I sighed, "Jacob..." I was begging more than demanding at this point, "Please don't. I won't be able to deny you if you keep doing this."

"Then stop denying me." His logic, though simple, was infalliable. I pushed away, upset he couldn't respect my wishes. Of course I wanted to be with him, and if we were just werewolves in the boondocks (not that this wasn't close enough), then I would have no qualms. But we were in society, and we had to follow the humans rules.

"Please, Jacob?" He sighed, agitated, kicking something lightly with his toe.

"Fine, let's go home. I bet Sam wants to see us. For some reason they are betting to how long we can make it without 'doing the deed'." I rolled my eyes, grabbing his hand.

We walked in silence, the dirt beneath my toes wet and spongey, the sky was overcast. I felt Jacob's eyes on me. He had a question. I tilted my head towards him, letting my eyes meet his briefly. _What?_ I thought.

"Well, I was wondering what you were thinking..." He seemed insecure.

"I was thinking about our problem." I sighed, "Do you think you could wait until I'm eighteen?"

His eyebrow rose, I loved it when he looked like that. "For what?"

"To get married, duh." He stopped suddenly.

"Why do we have to be married?"

"And why not?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips and he crossed his arms over his chest. I tried really hard not to take him in and let my eyes devour this visual candy.

"Well... I mean, we're already mates, wolves mate for life."

I sighed, "Jacob, I'm not saying I don't trust you, I'm saying that not only would it be easier for my family to accept, they are human in a human world, remember?" He tensed, he had forgotten my family. "But it would also be easier for me and you and the pack. Think about it?"

"You really didn't say why though..." He grabbed my hand and we began walking again.

"Are we going to Bella's wedding?" I asked, changing the subject, unsucessfully.

"Yes." He was silent for about two seconds, "So do you want to get married? I mean, have you always... do we have to wait?"

I smiled, "Yes. I have always wanted to be married, and I've always wanted to wear white. So don't mess it up, boy." I turned to him, "And you know, I would have really preferred for you to be eighteen, but whatever, I guess I'll give on that minor detail."

"You're birthday is in five months..."

"Four." I inturrupted, "This is June, my birthday is in September. If you can wait four months, you can have me."

"Isn't your Mom coming to pick you up in August?" I froze.

"I had forgotten... Wow. Umm... but..." I looked at him. I didn't want to go home, not to her, not to Fortuna. His dark eyes met mine, a link of sorrow bound us for that instant, and then he smiled.

"We won't get to the reservation before sundown if we continue like this!" He smiled, scooping me into his arms and running through the forest. I giggled, pressing harder against his body, sharing heat, sharing lust, sharing doubts and sorrow and confusion and frustration.

I looked up into his face, his hair streaking out behind him, the scenery nothing more than brown and green blurs shoved together by some force to be nothing more than a place with no time, no meaning. It was blissful, being with him like this. _But... it will end._ I shuddered, snuggling into him closer. _It doesn't have to... right?_


	6. Pt 2 Ch 2

**AN There is some heavy (almost lemon) fluff in this Chapter. You are warned.**

Chapter 6

He set me down, disappointed I slipped from his grasp and began to walk toward the small house he lived in. To my surprise he growled and wrapped me back into his arms, planting kisses on my neck; his lips caressing the softer surface of my body. I closed my eyes, feeling my heart race as I became more and more in tuned to the need I had to just be with him. His mouth was warm and soft, leaving a trail as he hunched lower and lower over me.

I giggled as he got a particularly ticklish spot. He laughed breathy, I could feel his arousal against my lower back. I snuggled into him, making sure to pay him back for turning me on.

"You ticklish?" His voice was husky, it flattered me to know he wanted me so much.

"Yes." I smiled, pulling away. "Everywhere."

I felt him straighten, looking at me with those desperate brown eyes, "E-everywhere?" The tension in his voice made me smile and wag my tail a bit more as I walked into the house.

"Everywhere."

I walked into the house, realizing for the first time since my arrival that I was at home here. It wasn't a grand place, kind of shaggy and worn, there were holes in the walls from my fight with Jacob. All the houses were like this, though. That's just how the reservation was. No one had fences, everywhere was the idea of "your home". Everyone got along just fine, much different than the town, or so I had been told. I had yet to actually step foot off the reservation, which was sad, yes, but my life was Jacob, where he was I was happy. The same for him, I was his world, his universe, he would follow me to the grave just to be with me, because I completed him and fulfilled him.

Visa Versa, only I argued that I felt that way longer, so I loved him more.

I walked to the back room, turning on the shower and grabbing clothes out of my suitcase. Being with Jacob made me dirty, and I smelled kind of like sex, and sex smells really bad, and strong, and if I didn't want to be mocked I would have to bathe. I grabbed a baggy t-shirt, clean underwear, including a bra, and pants, and suddenly felt nostalgic. I closed my eyes and sat on my bed, just wandering the inner parts of my mind when Jacob came into my room.

"Kriss?"

"Jake?" I didn't open my eyes, my voice was low and quiet. I could feel his startled response. I never called him Jake. To my relief he didn't say anything, but closed my door. "Come and sit with me?" I asked, somewhat insecure. A bed was not the safest place to put two wolves who were hot for each other.

I heard his footsteps in the worn carpet as he sat behind me, wrapping his arms around my body, pulling me so the back of my head rested against his shoulder, his mouth was beside my ear. I was half way surprised by how complete this felt, and yet I was torn even more by the intimidating thought of going home. _Stop thinking!_ My inner voice implored._ Jacob's here, what more do you need?_ I snuggled into him, wrapped him around me; making his sure his presence was smothering me, eating me. The space between our bodies was almost nonexistent, but what was there was too much.

I began to think about how I felt apart from him even this close. My addiction was dangerous, and at this pace, the only way to ever feel completely whole with him was to have him inside of me, and I wasn't willing to do that yet.

I felt a sob wrack my chest, and was startled, I hadn't realized I was crying. I curled into a ball, secure only when Jacob tightened his body around me.

"What makes you cry, my love?" He whispered as though his heart was being shredded, "What makes you incomplete, though you are?"

I giggled as he nibbled my ear, his hair softly touching my cheeks. "I don't know Jacob." We were silent for a moment, "Why is it that I still don't feel as though I am close enough to you?"

He shrugged, letting me go. "Kriss," His eyes went heavy and dark, I felt my body respond to match his mood. He licked his lips and my heart thumped heavier in my chest, I could feel the heat scorching my body. Lord how I wanted him! He leaned forward, licking the curve of my neck, inhaling. I sighed, resisting the urge to wrap my legs around him. "You smell so good, woman..." He pulled back, "You should shower." He made an effort to move, but grunted, grimacing as though in pain. "What you do to me..." He rolled his eyes, grinning wickedly.

I grabbed my clothes and rushed into the bathroom, stepping into the running water. I bathed quickly, dressed into a clean outfit, threw my dirty clothes into the washer, along with a bit of everyone else's clothes, and ran the whirring machine. It was breaking apart, like everything else, damned the government. I turned, startled, as Billy rolled behind me.

"Karissa..." he lowered his eyes, his posture was defeated, tired. "Your mother is coming to get you in three weeks..."

I froze, "what? I thought I had a few more months... but... weeks?"

"She..." I could hear the tears in Billy's voice, "She said she doesn't want you to miss anymore school..."

"What school?!" I shrieked, "It's summer!"

Billy shook his head, "there is nothing I can do." His eyes met mine again, but they were old and hurt, the old pains of his physical condition wounding him again. "Are you going to tell Jacob?"

The hammer struck my chest. "I-I... I can't leave him, Billy. He's my sun, my world, my air." The desperation in my voice was close to mania. "How... how... Do wolves actually go through this?"

His eyes drifted away again. "No."

"I-I..."

"Just wait." Billy whispered, "Just wait until you can deal with it."

The world turned blacker around the edges, desperation sunk in. _Three weeks?_ I moaned, stumbling into Jacob's room. _Three weeks to live in this torture and die slowly._ I admonished myself for over reacting. I lived before Jacob, I could do it again... right? I opened the door to his room slowly, observing he wasn't there, but all signs of his life were. Bella's name clawed into the wall above his bed, crossed out with mine written above it, larger, more meticulously. Posters of random rock bands on his walls, mostly scratched out in moments of his fury. The window was cracked and covered with a dark sheet to keep outsiders from peeking in.

I crawled onto his bed and curled up. I wanted to cry, to get rid of this feeling, but couldn't. I just stared into the blackened space of his wall, on the curve of the crossed out 'B' in Bella's name. I heard the door open.

"Kriss?" he seemed startled. I snorted. I felt like I was 'PMS'y. I was aroused, then angry, then sad, and now I was depressed. I curled tighter, my mind spinning. My heart was aching so badly with just the knowledge I had to leave him, I felt my mind leaving me. He sat on the bed beside me, leaning over me. His scent hit my nose and I lost it.

I sat up, flipping him onto the bed so he was on his back. Quickly I straddled him. "Am I like you?" I asked, knowing I didn't get across what I meant.

"Like me?" He laughed a little, mostly aroused, partly confused. "You're not like me-"

"No." I whispered, "I'm not. How can I be like you Jacob? How can I stay here? How can I be accepted?" I could smell his fear mounting. I smiled, leaning over him, laying on his chest, snuggling into him. "Is it because I don't have your blood?"

"Kriss..." He looked at me, "What is wrong?"

I trembled, "I-I'm not sure yet, but I think it's making me insane." There was a silence where he proceeded to stroke my hair, now partly damp. His shirt was soaked from before. "Could I... could I have your blood?"

I felt his heart race. His response was a mixture of excitement and fear. "W-why? Will that make you feel better?"

I sighed, playing with his chest beneath the under shirt he wore, picking at a wrinkle. "I'm not sure... But... maybe it will make us closer?"

He laughed, the sudden sound startled me and I sat up and moved way. "Like blood brothers, Kriss?" his scolding tone was too much for my emotional overload, I started to cry.

"It's all I have right now Jacob! It's all I can think of!" I looked at him, the desperation plain on my face. He grabbed my arms.

"What is it?" I looked at him, but I couldn't say it. If I said what it was, the thing I was avoiding would become real, as if it were a spell or curse. I couldn't say it, I was afraid to say it.

He sighed, "Okay." He lifted his forearm, bearing it for me. "You know it will heal fast, right?"

"I-I...Jacob..." I looked at him imploring. I couldn't really hurt him, spill his blood, could I?

His eyes met mine, "If this is the only thing to make you feel better, then go on ahead." He seemed angry that he couldn't do anything physically to take away my anxiety. I looked at him, still unsure. He rolled his eyes, and then began to kiss me.

I gasped, startled, and he used that opportunity to lick my lower lip. Jitters ran up my spine as I kissed him back, our lips playing a game of dominance. I got him back on his back, my hands roving over his body. His fingers played with my neck, slowly sliding their way down my spine, over my tummy, back up, stopping right below my bra. I broke away, pondering the danger I could cause if I swung one leg over his hips. _Do I really care anymore?_ I questioned myself, looking at this man who was so intent, consumed with desire for me that he was already sweating with intensity. His hair was thick and dark, and I got an idea.

I lifted his shirt, running my hand along his lower abdomen. Just as suddenly I willed my nails to move and began playing over the hem of his jeans, teasing the most receptive part of his body. In the sudden shock of my touch his body arched into it, his teeth were gritted. I smiled. I was dominant.

I threw my leg over his hips, sliding my body upwards, keeping constant contact with his. His eyes were galzed, his voice husky. "And you expect me to wait until you're eighteen how?"

His hands found my waist, and I became highly startled as he used the power from his hands to grind us together, causing him to harden even further underneath me. In that single action he had switched from subserviant to dominant. My breath came quicker as I became more and more hot for him. His lips met mine again, then slowly trailed down, becoming occupied with my collarbone, one of his hands left my waist, trailing up my spine, tangling into my hair. I closed my eyes, the butterflies in my body melting away to the flames of passion and desire.

I grabbed his hand, pinning it above his head. Slowly I leaned further over and bit it; he shivered beneath me, groaning as I licked and sucked at the wound. His hips gyrating to no avail against my thigh. I smiled.

"You made this so easy." I said, breaking the spell that was over us. His eyes were out of focus.

"Damn." his voice was husky and heavy. "We gotta stop?"

I smiled, "No." But he read into the undertone of my voice. Yes, I was his to do what he will with, but the price of his actions would later cause him pain. He sighed.

"What to do with you. What to do with this?" he motioned to the bulge in his jeans.

I grinned deviously, rubbing the area above his jeans again. He sighed, laying his head back. His sigh became a groan as, much to my wonder, the bugle actually grew larger. "Dammit woman." He breathed, "You're making me hurt."

I laughed, ceasing my actions. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry." I pulled away, wanting to do more, too timid to make the first move.

He grabbed my hand, pulling me closer. He kissed the top of my head, "You're so beautiful." He groaned again, "And you make me hurt in such good ways."

I laughed, "Is this supposed to be after glow?"

"Yes." he turned my joke serious. "Imagine what it will be like when we consumate our marriage."

I blushed as images ran through my head. I shook them away, kissing his eyelids, "I love you." I whispered.

He grinned, his breathing finally leveling out, "You know that doesn't even cover it, right?"

I yawned, "Yeah." I looked into his face as his eyes closed and his breath evened out. _Does this really have to end?_


	7. Pt 2 Ch 3

Chapter 7

I woke up, my head on his chest. Despite my insane ramblings the night before, nothing had changed and I was still leaving in three weeks. I sighed, laying back down.

_He's so warm._ I thought, snuggling further into his body, fighting the tears that were becoming so frequent. _God, why?_ I began to absently stroke his hair, propping my chin on the back of my free hand, watching him sleep in just the right position to see up his nose. I giggled, _how sexy. _I stifled my giggle as he groaned, waking up.

He sighed, opening his eyes, letting his hands find my body. "Hey beautiful."

I couldn't help myself, I laughed out loud, unable to stop. At this point he had sat up, making me roll onto my side, curled with my fit of hysteria. "What?" He asked, completely confused, "What'd I do?"

"N-nothing!" I sputtered in between laughs, "I-it's just... Gahaha!! Okay, Okay, I'm sorry. It's just that I could see up your nose, and it was..." I slowed down, thinking about it, "Ya know, it really wasn't that funny."

He snorted, rubbing the top of my head as if I were a child he was condescending, "No, no it wasn't." He smiled at me, "You're so weird."

"Why you love me." I explained, rolling onto my back, exposing my belly. "It's why everyone loves me."

He rolled his eyes, pulling a shirt on, "So you're feeling better then?" There was an immediate silence. "That's a no, huh?"

I stood, "Yeah." I whispered quietly, "That's a no." _Do I want to tell him? Should I tell him?_ I paused behind him, clutching my arm insecurely. I opened my mouth, but couldn't force one word out of my mouth. I shut it, continuing out his door and into my room, changing into a pair of jeans and a tank top. Summer was approaching, the days were getting warmer, the air smelled darker. It was exhilarating. I closed my eyes, sitting in front of the small window in my room, inhaling the world around me, when I heard Sam walking down the hall.

"Hey, Alpha kitty, you going hunting with us?" His voice was warm and loving, but respectful and unsure. I was a new wolf to the pack, I was an even newer alpha. I was dangerous, uncharted territory. Exhilarating.

I turned to him, smiling broadly, "Hunting? Heck yeah!"

His posture slackened, as if he was relieved, "Good. We'll be meeting in twenty minutes, bring a change of clothes and your mate." He turned to leave, then spun back around, "So... umm... have you guys just "done it" yet?"

I threw a pillow at him, scoffing at his blunt rudeness. He caught the pillow, looking at it as if it were a new species.

"I'm not trying to be nosy, but in wolf form, we get free access to one another's thoughts... Just so you are warned." He tossed the pillow back and left.

I sat on my bed, still, shocked, spurned and dumbfounded. _Our minds... my mind._ I hadn't remembered my thoughts would be shared. It opened new possibilities, it opened new wounds. What a harsh way for Jacob to learn about me leaving, but... did I really want to stop it? Would it be easier for me if he found out this way? _Yeah!_ My brain retorted, _Him and the whole pack._

I gnashed my teeth at my brain. Why did it have to make sense?! I snapped out of my contemplation as Jacob pounded on my door frame.

"Hey, Buttercup, let's get going!" He was wearing a pair of jeans, clothes hanging from his wrist. I gathered my pants and sports bra. _How am I getting out of this one?_ I thought, snuggling into his arms, excited, afraid, nervous, tense. This was not easy.

"Buttercup?" I snorted some time later.

He looked at me with an eyebrow cocked, "Well, aren't we slow today?"

"Shut up." I snorted, elbowing him slightly. My heart was racing, my blood on fire, butterflies had morphed into clawing bats in my stomach. The group was huddled right outside of the tree line. "You know, that reminds me of a movie... what's it called?"

He smiled, looping his arm over my shoulders, "the Three Amigos?"

"Yeah!" I smiled, looking at him excitedly, "You've seen it?"

"No, but Quil did and I kinda got the gist of the movie from his brain when we were a pack unit one night. He kept singing that stupid song!!!" Jacob took a girly pose, _"My little Buttercup, won't you stay a while? My little Buttercup, has the sweetest smile..._ Bleg. Nasty taste in my head."

I snorted, elbowing him, noticing out of the corner of my eye as Sam began to change. Jacob also noticed and began to stride forward. I quickly place my hand on his chest, fingers outspread, stopping him.

"Jacob... Jake I-I have to tell you something..." He brushed past me, grabbing my hand, dragging me along.

"No sweat, Kriss. We'll be mentally linked soon anyway."

My pulse stopped as Jacob stripped off his shirt, Embry and Quil were already on all fours, I felt the pull to be as them tug at my human form.

_"But it's important!"_ I wanted to say, only to notice my muzzle was already too deformed to form human words; my vocal chords not able to create the right vibrations. I looked at Jacob, then quickly tore off my shirt and pants. Out of respect the other pack members averted their gaze as I finished the change. I licked at one of my paws, gleeful and surprised at how easy shifting forms was becoming. I lolled my tongue, in the back of my mind, in a little buzz that was less than a whisper was my secret. AndI was determined no one should find out.

Jacob, the gorgeous rusty wolf he was, nuzzled me. The buzzing in my mind was in everyone else's as well. I looked at him, licked his nose, then bit his ear. He yipped, dashing off into the forest with his tail erect.

_A game!_ Quil's mind leaked joyously as he chased after Jacob, ears forward, tail erect, tongue lolling. I looked at the rest of the pack, who seemed unsure. I heard Jacob give a short, loud bark somewhere out in the forest. I crouched, smiling my wolf smile as my haunches launched me like a bullet. The pro to being lighter than the rest of the pack with longer legs was faster running. Unfortunately I had nowhere near the pure muscle that they did and they caught up soon enough.

Their thoughts buzzed around me, but were no distraction. I leapt over a fallen log as Sam caught the scent of a herd of deer. Jacob and he mentally squared away our positions, the direction of the air, and where the deer were. We circled around as a pack, breaking when I said. The deer were in a valley, at the end of the valley was a small opening where there were five foot ridges on each side. As we approached the deer we were downwind, and they became nervous, jittery. Carefully Jacob and I made our way to either side of the opening with a partner. The idea was to have three wolves start chasing the deer into the pathway, other wolves jumping out of the shrubbery, making the animals stupid with fear. When the prey was so scared they couldn't think was when we would pick out our particular target and pounce from either side of the gorge.

The two alphas on either side, as an honor and privilege to us. We had a good pack. As the deer thundered through the opening I spotted thre perfect buck. Young, probably just about to be cut out of the herd. He had a nice rack for his age, five pointer, problem was he had a twisted leg and one of his feet was missing half of the hoof. I looked at Jacob.

_Did it get away?_ I asked or thought, rather, cocking my head. We all knew the buck was our target.

_No..._ He sighed, _Must've been hunters._

Sam shouted, his mind just a loud wave of noise. I bit back a growl. The target was closing in. Jacob and I jumped, our partners following, cutting the buck from the herd. It reared in fear as the rest of the pack circled, isolating it completely. It made a sharp noise I had never heard before, the fear in his eyes killing me, yet exciting me, the instinct took over. The pack sprung, nipping at heels, trying to cut hamstrings. A kick from a deer that big was death (for normal wolves, but hey, it was instinct and head wounds still killed).Us four that had been at the front lept for the shoulders and throat, I sunk my tetth into his chest while Jacob latched onto the animals throat. It let out a wet scream as it's windpipe collapsed. We all pulled away, as one we howled, thanking the spirits for our kill, for our triumph.

I trotted to Jacob, who was holding the animals throat still, but more tenderly, less threatening. That's when I heard Quil and Embry.

_I heard she actually let vampires onto our reservation. _

My hair stood on my shoulders, my tail stiffened. Jacob had heard too, he was beside me. I growled at them, circling.

_You question your alpha?_ Sam's mind directed, the rest of the pack uneasy. They all questioned my leadership abilities? This idea wounded me like I had never known, yet made me mad enough to prove them wrong. _All change, now!_ Sam snapped, his fur receeding into his skin, his face becoming more humanesque.

I turned as quick as I could, dressing as well. The others were more slow about it. I waited for Quil and Embry to clothe themselves.


	8. Pt 2 Ch 4

**AN Fluff in the form of groping.**

Chapter 8

I could smell the apprehension on their flesh as they cowered closer together, as if to protect their hind sides from an attack. I sighed, rubbing my temples. _Boys are dumb._ I decided. I looked around, still stinging from the doubt that the pack had for me. I knew that they were unsure, but I never imagined that they... wouldn't trust their alpha, it's unheard of in wolf pack. I smiled at myself.

_But they are also human._ I looked at the boys, then at the pack, putting on my menacing alpha face best I could. "Do you all doubt my abilities?"

A small 'no' came from somewhere in the crowd, and I knew that Sam and Jacob were behind me on this, Jacob just as offended as I was, Sam was livid with anger at the doubt in the pack. Dissention cause inner turmoil, and this was most definately dissention.

"I see." I sighed again, heavier than before. _How do I explain?_ I wondered, pacing around the two loudest culprits. I looked at Quil, cute and scared and innocent. It ripped my heart out to know I had to make examples of him and Embry. "How do I explain to you how senseless your hate for the vampires is? Once upon a time they were evil and cruel, just like once upon a time our kind massacred and hunted people. The Cullens though, are different, and we all know it. They purposely avoid to take the blood of humans, and just like what we have done, they hunt animals. How does that make them different from us? Embry!" I barked, he flinched, almost falling over Quil.

"Umm... umm.. t-they are blood drinkers..."

"And we are meat eaters! We hunt, so do they, we prey upon these stupid creatures," I motioned to the buck that was still warm, "and in a way, aren't we the same monsters as they?! And how!" I took a different approach to the matter, "how can we claim to be better when we segregate and hate them on purpose, avoiding and alienating them the best we can? They are actually seeking a change, a treaty; we have nothing but defined boundaries and pasts that we wrap our worlds into and keep them away from us and always, **always** feeling guilty of their transgressions."

"B-but we aren't that same as they are." Quil defended weakly, "They still thirst for human blood..."

I turned on him, "And when we are around our weaker counterparts, isn't there a part of you that just always whispers what it would be like to chase them, tease them with our teeth? That wants to flaunt our superior strength, just to see how much they could stand before breaking into pieces. We are not better, nor are we different than vampires, _wolves_. We still have this insatiable will to dominate what we can. Humans fall into that category. We still have a primal instinct to hunt as a pack or as individuals, weaker prey. Humans also fall into this category. It's why we were given the conscious of humans, but the might and will of wolves."

There was an uneasy murmur within the pack, and I realized I had gone over the line with my speech. Obviously not everyone was as open with themselves as I was with my pack.

After a few moments of debating, one she-wolf spoke out, "But that still doesn't tell us why, through our treaty with the vampires, you allowed one onto our lands."

I shook my head, "Were you not listening, you stupid creature!" I yelled, letting my anger get away from me. The crowd moved back from me, as if afraid I would strike at them. "I see no threat from the vampires! They are nothing I cannot handle in wolf or human form. They do not scare or worry me because I do not smell the death on them that so lingers on the furs of some of our own!"

Much to my glee a few in the pack agreed with me, distancing themselves from the opposition. To my surprise I had just won half the pack over and figured out who still took to human hunting every now and again.

Sam bristled, taking over, I gladly stepped down. Jacob grabbed my hand, squeezing it. He kissed my forehead. Dimly I heard Sam yelling about the long past rule of human hunting, and how it had been forbidden. I picked the deer up by its head, slinging the body around my neck, grasping onto the legs to keep it steady.

Jacob came a little closer, holding out his hands. I shook my head. This was not the time for him to help me, and I desperately needed to leave.

That night we had a cookout, and I found out that, though my words from earlier were harsh, they were true and I had gained respect and trust. It lifted my heart, to know I had gained and earned the position as alpha through the old ways, and through the new.

I looked at Sam, wondering if he was going to demand stepping down. Now that there was an alpha pair, I wondered if he felt obselete in his duties as the second alpha. As the embers died and the deer was devoured, a story was told of long ago, of when there was a time wolf teeth knew human flesh and roved through the mountians, claiming the land and owning it. My heart longed for the past, for that freedom to be my own without the bars of humanity.

"But," Billy looked over the crowd, "They had begun to lose their human souls, becoming more and more like the wolves they were at first gifted with, loosing their human spirits to the sprit of the animal within. Ever since then, our kind has dwelt with humans, staying apart to keep ourselves concealed and allow the wolf to play, but mingling to sate the human in us and keep us what we were before our gifts."

I sighed, leaning against Jacobs shoulder. I was tired, and I didn't want to think anymore. He grabbed my hand, "Think of how much different our lives would be if we could do that, Kriss."

"Do what?"

"Be free."

I laughed suddenly at the thought that came to my mind. "I'd already be pregnant, wolf-boy."

His eyes took on a different sheen and his scent turned more husky. I smiled playfully. "And that would be a bad thing?"

He nuzzled my neck, nipping at the softer skin. I pushed him away, embarrassed by the public display of affection, noticing the secretive smiles and glances from the others around us. "Jacob!" I scorned through gritted teeth.

"What?" He asked, much more loudly, mostly to rile me up, "They all know we're mates, I mean, come on!" He emphasized, "They aren't stupid."

I glared, standing, "Billy, I'm going for a walk, please excuse me."

I heard Embry tease Jacob a little bit, "Wow Jake, how come she chose a dude like you, neh? You pissin' her off like that."

Jacob sighed, "Later Dad, I've gotta chase her down. Sam?" Sam must've agreed to take the alpha position while we were gone.

I waited, tensed, just inside the tree line. Jacob came closer and closer, excitement rose up in my belly as I waited, waited, waited. It was driving me nuts!

His stopped right outside the tree line, sniffing, then reaching. His hand brushed against my shirt, and I took off. I sprang off my right foot, racing through the forest with all I could muster within me. I was faster than Jacob, for the time being, and I knew my limitations. Not only could I never find the right pace for myself, but I burst all my energy into the first part of the race, burned out before I could completely get away. This knowledge told me I had to be sneaky as a fox.

I lept over a low branch, slowing down long enough to act on a whim. I climbed the tree, jumping from one branch to another, like ninjas in cartoons, only not so fast and not so gracefully, but my scent was above Jacob. I paused long enough to watch him circle the area, sniffing, curious, then took off again. Soon enough I was on the ground, and I heard him give a human howl that was wolf enough to tell me what he meant.

_I found you._

I shivered, goosebumps on my skin. I leapt into a nearby stream and swam down river, breaking off before it joined the ocean, killing my scent. Sure that I had gotten him, I circled back to the reservation, having enough energy this close by to race him back before he could quite realize what I had done. Much to my surprise, he howled again.

_I found you._

I slowed down. _How could he...? I masked my scent perfectly..._

He dropped in front of me from a nearby cliff. Startled I back away from his advancements until I was pinned against the cliff wall.

"J-Jacob, how did you find me?"

He traced my jaw with his finger, "Quite easily my dear." His voice was silky against my ears. I smiled, giggling as his finger escaped to my neck.

I pushed him away, "It tickles!" I stated, "Besides, 'quite easily' is not an answer. I tried really hard this time, how did you find me?"

He was silent for the time being, once again against me, letting his hands rove over my skin. I bit back a groan as he kissed along my jawline, lowering his mouth to the collar of my shirt, his hand was sneaking upwards, playing along the hem of the cup of my bra. I closed my eyes, locking my fingers in his hair as his mouth became more angry, more demanding. He pulled away best he could with me locking him in place like that.

"You know what I want to do to you, Karissa?" His voice whispered in my ear, his fingers dipping inside my bra, circling my breast, "I want to claim you, make you say my name."

I breathed harder, he was completely dominant, and I was fine with that... but I still wanted to know how he got ahead of me. I pulled away from him, grabbing his hand with mine, licking his finger tips, kissing his palm. "How did you get ahead of me, Jacob?" I demanded.

He stepped away, but I wanted him to come closer. This was not how our play went, he would always step closer, and then he would proceed to tickle, fondle, or kiss me. He turned away. This time, I moved closer, but he held out his hand, stopping me from approaching.

"What I hide is less important than what you are hiding." I froze, the game was shattered and our playful pretense; gone. He turned to me, pain on his face, "Tell me."

I sighed, "Your so melodramatic, Jake." I had given myself away with that word... 'Jake'.

He tensed, facing me finally. "What?"

"And a horrible thing you did, too." I muttered, "Ruining our game..." I shrugged, "But it was the smart thing to do, I guess. Only way you could ever pin me down to tell, and away from everyone else, genius."

He started to get annoyed, "What is it, Kriss?"

I turned away, crossing my arms over my chest, "But I really did like the game... and I had it so well figured out too. If only you would-" I was surprised as he violently spun me to face him, taking my face in his hands.

"You will tell me." I averted my eyes, this wasn't Jacob anymore, this was my alpha.

"My mother is taking me home in three weeks..." The silence that followed was murderous.


	9. Pt 3 Ch 1

**:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Nameless Part three: Pointless:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

**AN A LOT OF SEXUAL STUFF IN THIS CHAPTER!!! All it is is sexual, actually... XP**

**Chapter 9**

I sighed, reaching for my window, twisting myself further into the sheet. Out of habit I covered myself up at night. Out of nessecity I tried to rid myself of the covers when I was sleeping, and the result was tangled werewolf. I groaned, yanking the blankets away from my body, stumbling to the bathroom. I reached for the doorknob, when the door was thrust open, leaving me face to face with Jacob.

I remembered why I had felt like shit.

Over a week ago I told him I told him my mother was making me leave. Over a week ago he had screamed in an agony that I could barely comprehend. Over a week ago, he said he could track me by the pattern of my heart beat.

After a week of as little contact with one another as possible, by agreement of trying to ease the blow of our seperation, I felt as though my insides had turned to ash. He was right across the hall, I saw him everyday, but we didn't touch, didn't speak. I had no idea how I would handle months without him.

"Kriss?" His voice was imploring. I realized I hadn't moved since the door opened. I was still staring stupidly with my hand outstretched.

"Uhh... Jacob." I straightened, putting on my 'strong' facade. I inched past him, trying to get to the bathroom, when he grabbed my arm, making me stand still. "J-Jacob?"

He looked at me without looking, his face twisted and contorted, matching my insides. My false front melted.

"Jacob." I whispered, grabbing onto his upper arm, where the muscle was so thick my hand didn't wrap halfway around, and squeezed for dear life, "Jacob, I give up. We can run away, we could... we could..." His eyes were penetrating me again.

"No, we can't." His voice was dead, he had considered everything, knowing him. "Our only option is for you to go home, Kriss. Besides, what about your siblings?"

I froze, I had forgotten. "My... siblings..."

"Yeah." He whispered, then gathered me into an abrupt hug, "Honey, we can't ever stop. We can't quit."

I pulled away, furious as his words sank in. I punched him, "How dare you say that!? We're killing ourselves!" I reached up, tip toe, to caress his face, "Every touch we deny ourselves, every word we don't say, every time we avoid each other, every time we don't look into one anothers eyes, we die! You feel it, I know you do!"

"Maybe, but it is something that we must live through. Eventually we will be able to be together again. I can live for that." His face betrayed his strong words.

I was angry, I wanted to walk away, but I was addicted to his company like a heroine addict to their needle. "And what about now, Jacob? How long, exactly is 'eventually'?" I poked him in the chest, using every opportunity I could to touch him. It wasn't technically being friendly, and I think he had begun to catch on.

"I think this may be a disscussion we need to continue in my room." A smile quirked the sides of his lips. I shivered in delight.

"I don't think so. I think we can solve this right now, right here. You'd have to take me to your room by force." I planted my feet firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.

He ducked his head to hide his pleased grin, I was still scowling. The best actress, I was. He scooped me into his arms, I began to bite at him, accidentally planting a kiss on his lips. "You bastard." I whispered, kissing him again, more ferociously, taking his breath. "How dare you make me do something against my will?"

He dropped me on his bed, laughing as I bounced. I kicked him on the fly, he doubled over, somehow landing ontop of me. "Lady, I think you listen best when pinned."

"Why not leash me?" I snorted, a bit surprised to figure out just how much the thought turned him on.

"I should torture you to make you listen to me." He panted, licking my ear, his fingers working on the buttons to my shirt.

I smiled, guiding his free hand over my body, lettng my free hand play with his chest. His hand broke free of mine and stopped right above the waist of my shorts. My body jolted with the sudden direct contact to such a sensitive spot. We broke away, his hand still hovering so his fingertips were massaging the skin just beneath my waistband. Tingles ran through my body as our eyes met.

"This isn't technically sex, right?" He slid his hand lower.

"..." I closed my eyes, wanting, needing this release. I slid my body upwards. His fingertips were now centimeters from the place of all my tension, playing and pulling on the pubic hairs, massaging the skin. His breath was just as heavy as mine. A thousand things were running through my mind, foremost was: _should I be pleasing him too?_

He sensed my apprehension and pulled away from me. I whimpered, longing for his hand back. He began to sit up from his position above me. Angry I grabbed his shoulders, forcing him back on top of me. "Jacob, I may be unsure about this, and I may not know what I'm doing... but..." _Damned these tears!_ "But..." I was sobbing, I wanted to make him happy, I wanted to make it so he could never allow me to leave. I hated myself for doing this to him.

He was above me, looking at me with pity. Angry, I crashed my lips to his, splitting our bottom lips in the process, the taste of his saliva mixed with his blood as my tongue roved his mouth, forcing his tongue to react to mine. I grinded my body against him, sure that I had him where he didn't want to leave. I grabbed his hand and began to lead it to my breast, when he pinned it to his matress. He pulled his mouth from mine, gasping, glaring.

"You want this done? You want it to make a point, prove something?" He was mad at me now. "Then I will be dominating this act."

I was frightened, but highly turned on as he grabbed my other hand and placed it on the bulge of his jeans, never taking his mouth from my neck. As he nipped and sucked, he forced my hand to massage his swollen member. He groaned, a shudder coming off his shoulders.

"I have no qualms about this." He whispered in my ear heavily, his breath hot against my cheek. He grabbed a corner of my shirt with his mouth, still grasping my hands to their relative one and six o'clock positions, his breath was coming heavier, and so was the heat that was pooling in my lower abdomen, liquid leaking into my underwear. He yanked his head upward, ripping my shirt open halfway; buttons flying, fabric ripping. He didn't even bother to take my bra off but slid it downwards. He stopped everything at that moment, looking at me, in awe.

"I've never..." He looked at me, as if worshipping me. I blushed, feeling as though there were none prettier than myself at that moment. I smiled slyly, reaching upward with my legs, wrapping them around his thighs, taking my hand away from his. He snapped out of it, pinnind my other hand to the matress as well. His head dipped as he occupied himself with my breasts, licking and nibbling, sending tingling shockwaves to my thighs, adding to the ferocity of my grinding.

I groaned, feeling flushed. I felt him smile as he bit down hard. The pain mingling with the pleasure made me cry out, arching my body even further against his. He groaned, our sweat mingled together as we came closer and closer to climaxing. He let go my hands, unzipping himself, ripping my shorts off me, chocking back a growl as the scent of the wetness from my maidenhood reached his nose.

I sat up, still in my moderately wet underwear. I began to approach him, forcing him to his knees. I loked into his eyes as I leaned forward to place my mouth around his manhood. I tentativley licked it, gleefully surprised by his shudder. Slowly I placed it in my mouth, sliding my tongue over the head of his swollen manhood, then the shaft, again and again, faster and faster. Soon his fingers were tightly locked in my hair, he was leaning against the wall, a sweat covering his body. His eyes were closed and he was breathing quicker and quicker. I incorperated sucking into the licking and sliding, and soon he was actually the one plunging in and out of my mouth, faster and faster, quicker and quicker.

He leaned over me, his hips still going through the motions, and began rubbing my privates through my underwear with his fingers. Shocked by the sudden spazm of nerves from that area I bit slightly on his member, causing him to hiss and thrust harder into my mouth. His fingers worked faster than my mouth, and soon I was panting just as heavily as he, both of us pulling away from the other, knowing that the only step after this was the one neither of us were willing to yet make.

We smiled at each other, both of us painfully needing release. I pulled on my bra, then my shorts, looking at Jacob as he watched in confusion. I stood up to leave.

"Where are you going?" he demanded, hurt and embarrassed, as if maybe he had done something wrong.

I felt guilty at that moment, _poor puppy._ I opened the door. "To shower, and you know... the door won't be locked..."


	10. Pt 3 Ch 2

**Chapter 10**

**Nine**

I spun around, falling against the tree, wrapping my arms around his neck as he nuzzled against me. Since the morning of our longest, most indepth exploration of each other, we had been stealing touches and kisses, waiting for the day we could be totally together. I had actually wanted him to join me in the shower that morning, but when I had stepped out and he still wasn't there, the window of time for him had closed, and I got dressed. I actually admired him for staying true to his promise to me for a white wedding, but I had so wanted to sate my desires.

Three days later, nine days till my mom came, and I still was unable to imagine my life without Jacob, without the pack. Even without Bella and Edward. I never wanted to go home, but then the guilt came in. Had my sisters been going to school, eating right?

I pushed Jacob away, unable to focus on his playful touches. He stepped back, his eyes following my face as I tried to hide it from him. "What's wrong?"

I sighed, "You weren't supposed to see that." I stated plainly. "I'm thinking of my sisters, and how much I'll miss you, and I wonder if I'll truely live without the pack around me. Fortuna may be larger, but it's empty compared to here."

His eyes shifted from me to the setting sun. "It's wrong that we have to steal moments like this."

I giggled, "I think Billy knows, honestly." My fingers ripping moss off the tree behind me, the smell of a thunder storm ripped through my senses.

He smiled, wrapping me in a hug, "You know, there's nothing wrong with coming to visit us, or even the Cullens."

I punched him lightly and snorted, "You should know better than that. My mom would never let me go that easily."

He sighed., "But you're eighteen... almost. She doesn't control you."

And then I got angry. Not at Jacob directly, but because people all my life had been telling me that I didn't have to put up with my mothers antics. "You think I don't know that, Jake? I would never put up with anything more than I think necessary, but for the fact that if I weren't there to deal with her, take care of my siblings, what would happen? Social services ripping apart my family, my baby sisters running rampant with boys and my brother in a gang. Not to mention Mom herself, not a role model of waiting till your married, if you get my point. And the drugs and booze, the fact that I have no idea wether they're being neglected or not when I'm gone." I sighed, turning away from him, imagining the worst situation, "I just... I can't leave them, Jacob. I can't."

He was silent, I could feel him thinking, his desperation evident in his pacing motions, his agitated breathing. "How about you bring them here? No, your mom would never let them go either." His pacing increased, his anger grew, and his fist exploded into the tree just left of my head, leaving a huge crack and crater, like a mini explosion.

"Graceful, Jacob." I snorted. Grabbing his previously bleeding hand, examining it. Though we are werewolves, and we heal quickly, the bones can mend wrong and need to be rebroken. His hand, thankfully, was fine.

I looked up, a frown on my face, only to be startled by the warm smile on his. "Come on, lovely, let's get inside before the storm comes?"

"Why?" I asked glumly, "At least we'll match, the sky and I."

He laughed, "You talk so weird for a girl your age." He tugged me along, "C'mon! I don't wanna deal with you when you're wet. You get easily provoked when you're wet."

I smiled, following him home mostly peacefully, curling on the couch as the thunder screamed across the sky, counting down the days till I left. Funny how time went by faster when you wanted it to crawl. I fell asleep in Jacob's arms.

**Eight**

I drew into his arms, the heat between us almost suffocating, deadly for any normal human.

"Good thing we ain't normal." he whispered into my ear. Startled I looked at him, at his half-transformed state. He was cute with a soft tail and delicate ears. His body, usually hairless due to his heritage, was exceptionally hairy on the chest and forearms, his hair color turned to more of a reddish black, his canines were enlarged and his eyes were more wolf than Jacob, though the difference was barely visible. "My, what big teeth I have..." He played, tussling my hair.

I giggled, half-way screaming, half-way laughing when Billy rolled into the room. What a site we must have been, me hanging halfway off the couch, pushing Jacob off of me, and Jacob, half wolf and on top of me.

"Hi Billy."

"Hi Dad."

Much to our amusement, he just nodded and went the other way.

That day was my most sullen day, and Jacob seemed to sense my melancholy. He devoted all of his time to me, holding me, hunting for me, kissing me and trying to make me happy.

"I'm sorry." I tried to explain that evening, "I just can't help this. It's like I'm dying inside every time I realize I won't have you. Your essence, your being around me."

"That's okay." He whispered into my ear, "I love providing for you. Makes me feel like we're together. Makes me feel... well... nevermind, you'll think it'stupid."

Of course, that peaked my curiosity, "No I won't, Jake. You know I never will ever think you're stupid, no matter what."

"Well, okay. But promise not to laugh?" After I promised and he fumbled with his words for a bit, he finally spat out his little secret. "It's just that, me being with you, hunting for you, comforting you, it gives me the feeling of being a husband, a soon to be father, or something... I told you not to laugh!"

"No, Jacob, no! It's just so sweet, is all. I can't help it but smile." I touched his face, apologizing with my caress, reminding myself that he was still young and innocent, despite his appearences. "One day, you will be a wonderful father, and you'll be a wonderful husband, you are a wonderful mate."

Once again his smile lit his features. The last thing I remember is him carrying me to bed.

**Seven**

I awoke that morning to an empty, slightly cold bed. The scent of Jacob beside me, but the lack of his presence, and the voices of anger outside alerted me to distress. All I could think of was Jacob and why he wasn't beside me. My mind was in such a uproar at this imbalance in my life that I put my pants on backwards. Agitated I forced myself to slow down and focus on one thing at a time, meanwhile the voices got less discernable, but more angry.

As soon as I had gotten dressed I flew up the stairs and into the kitchen, where I saw Billy and Jacob sitting inches apart, the anger in the air intense and cackling.

"W-what's going on?" I looked from Billy to Jacob and back again, nothing but anger. "Excuse me? Billy? Jacob?" Billy looked at me, his eyes full of an energy I never noticed.

"Ask Jacob." His voice was more cold and icy than I could ever have placed on Billy.

"Jacob?" He snorted, still glaring. "Someone?!"

Billy sighed, breaking in. From old age and experience he knew when something had to be done. "Your mother called again."

My skin crawled and froze all at once.

"You are going home in three days."

And then I shattered. "Three days?! Billy, no don't make me, please Billy, don't make me. I won't live without you, without Jacob, without the pack. Please don't make me go. Please. You don't know what she's like, Billy. I can't-"

"You have to."

Startled I looked at Jacob, "What?"

"You have to go. You need to be with your family." His face was turned from me, his body posture so ridgid I could not read it. "You need to be with your sisters, with your brother. You need to protect those who can not protect themselves. If it was in Billys power, he would refuse your mom, but neither of us can stop this..."

Whatever else he had said was falling on deaf ears. I no longer heard him, but the torrential hurricane whirring inside my body. My breathing was shallow, my tongue was dry, my feet were swelling, my heart had all but pounded loose, and my ears were whirring with a noise apparently only in my head. I fainted.

Later on, I don't know how long, I woke up with Billy by my side and a cold compress on my head. "Where's Jacob?" I somehow managed around a tongue that was too big for my mouth.

Billy smiled, handing me a glass. "Drink this and ask again, maybe I'll be able to understand you." Though the look in his eyes said he understood enough.

I guzzled down the glass full, surprised that Billy would give me alcohol. "Whiskey, Billy?" I wiped at my eyes, the burning sensation still in my throat, but sure enough my body was feeling better.

"Your body is warm enough to burn the alcohol immediately, and it does help." He sighed, "And for your question?"

"Where's Jacob? How long was I out for?"

"You were out for a few hours, it's noon time now. Are you hungry? I could make you a-"

"Where's Jacob?" I asked coldly, not wanting to be rude, but needing the answer.

Billys sigh said it all. "You need to understand that it's his way of dealing with pain... He just... can't be here anymore... Not until after you leave."

And somehow, the answer just fell onto my numbness and made me more unfeeling than before. "I see."

Billy sighed again, "No, no you don't. Don't you dare kill yourself, shutting down just because of a boy."

"No Billy!" I shouted, sitting straight up, "He was more than 'just a boy' and always will be, and you know it! And I'm sorry for 'shutting down', but maybe it's the only way I can stay sane. Now," I stood, clutching the compress to my aching head, "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to bed, and if you don't see me for a few days, you know why."

**Two**

I wrapped myself further into the blankets as the sun attempted to shine from behind angry clouds that threatened to pour like cats and dogs. The knowledge of how soon my mother was coming was killing me inside, and not even slowly. I sighed, Getting up, going into the shower. Somehow, though I didn't know how, I knew that Jacob wouldn't be here to make this easier... or worse.

I got dressed, realizing I noticed his absence because of his stale scent. I could smell him, yes, but it was old, kind of like two hour old cooked popcorn, lingering, but old, not as fresh and strong. I sat down for breakfast and scarfed down a whole box of fruity pebbles, mostly because of my new metabolism, partly because of an inside ache I couldn't deal with.

I trudged outside; weary, ready for the day to end. Out of the corner I saw Sam and Emily, a scent of guilt and sadness wafted off of them, along with the scent of Jacob. I knew he had run away to somewhere and now that I knew… I really couldn't hold myself responsible for my next actions.

Almost from the back of my head, as if in a dream, I watched myself snarl at Sam, who quickly sensed the danger I posed and half morphed, shoving Emily behind him. Blindly I charged, my thoughts not the single stranded form of thought that humans had, but more of the emotion/animalistic basics of the wolf in me. My first response was purely human, betrayal; my second response was anger, blind dismayed anger. The wolf.

She raised her head and howled in a twisted way that I couldn't even understand, it frightened me. I sounded insane, like the animals that had long ago killed their offspring for no apparent reason, like my Mom. And the image of her in my mind made me snap.

I lunged at Sam, twisting to the left, digging my claws into the side of his shoulder, bringing him down with momentum. My insanity left out one key logical thought in this brash fight. Sam was superior to me physically in every way.

I yelped painfully as he pinned me to the ground. Horrified at what I had done, all the thoughtless anger fled from me, my eyes locked onto the blood stained wound that had oozed.

"Sam…" I breathed, barely able to whisper above my ghastly behavior. "Sam, I am so sorry…" I started to cry, "I really didn't mean to- and Emily. Oh my God! I am so sorry. It's just- Jacob, I know… and then I snapped. I'm so sorry."

He held me in his arms as I cried, carrying me back to Billy's.

He set me on the couch, where I sat for hours, too forlorn to even try to morph and run my cares away in a skin of fur.

Nothing else eventful happened, and I fell into a depressive sleep.

**One **

I packed my bags as soon as I woke up, setting them by the door. I was wearing one of Jacob's shirts, and had stolen many more of them. He never really wore them anyway, right? In return I had left a pair of sweat pants that I had worn to sleep last night, after Billy had woken me and shoved me to bed.

I paced the window, almost too anxious to eat. I missed my mouth multiple times, I was too distracted. Billy looked at my things, then at me.

"Do you have any questions?" Was all he said, and to my surprise, a thousand built up in my chest before I realized I had anything to say to the man I labeled traitor.

"I… do." I set down my spoon, shoved aside my almost full bowl. "I need to know why my werewolf genes kicked in so far after Jacob's did. I mean, he's sixteen, and I'm eighteen; why the age difference?"

Billy looked confused. "I don't know about your people, but ours had a pact made that if these lands were threatened ever again by vampires, then our dormant selves would awaken." He looked at me curiously, "What do you know about your wolf self? About your ancestors?"

I smiled weakly, "nothing. My mom doesn't allow me to contact my Father. She actually called the cops and reported him kidnapping me. I know nothing." I looked at Billy, I saw the question in his eyes. "And no, he did not kidnap me; he took me out to a movie and lunch with my half-brother."

"Well, are there any kids that moved into your school recently? Like Vamp-"

"No." I sighed, "There's a new kid, but he's not a vampire, doesn't have the smell. There's no real reason then?"

He shrugged, "not that I'm aware of."

And the silence that fell was heavy and choking between us. I sighed, getting up, placing my bowl in the sink. My eyes went to the horizon, already expecting the dreaded car that she drove. That wretched thunderbird that whined and cried.

"When did she say she'd be here?"

There was hesitant silence. "Anytime now."

"I'll make sure I have everything." I ran to the back bedroom, where I was stashed for my stay, and grabbed my sweat pants, shoving them under Jacob's bed really fast. Knowing him it could be months before he properly placed the spot where my scent was coming from, his room was just that dirty. I sighed, rushing to the living room as the screech of the thunderbird whistled into my ears. Unfortunately it was another forty minutes until the car actually pulled into the reservation, another five before she opened the door as flamboyant as ever.

I was immediately dejected as she raced to Billy, thanking him for "working" on my issues. I sighed, lugging my backpack and small suitcase to the car, shoving them into the trunk. Upset I collapsed back against the tires, sitting in the dirt and drawing kissing stick figures.

All too soon Mom was thanking Billy for everything, ushering me into the car. I took the backseat twisting around and looking out the back window, waving to everyone who had gathered to say goodbye. Everyone, I noticed, but Jacob. I looked at Sam, who just shrugged in a mournful, upset way. As the tires left the dirt road, touching the asphalt, my vision lost all color.

Everything was grey.

**_AN_ I may add another chapter at the end of this section. Of course, an epilogue will be added at the end.**


	11. Pt 3 Ch 3

**Warning: Total Angst, abuse, drugs, sex. Not for those who have a tendancy to cry.**

**Chapter 11**

The weather was grey and rainy, like always. Excpet for my first day back. Thank God. My first day back was sunny. Which was nice because, as we rounded the corner to our street, mom dumped me on the sidewalk with my stuff, gave me the house keys and told me to watch my siblings. She went to a party and was out all night. Which was fine by me, by the looks of things my little sisters...

Well, let me tell about them. Jay is my half-brother, tall, skinny, pale with black curly hair and pale blue eyes. In short he was beautiful. He could be a model so long as he didn't open his mouth. He was genious when it came to video games, but stupid with common sense and school, with the temper of a rampaging bull elephant. But he was also Bi-Polar and suffered from sexual abuse from none other than Mother dearest. Jessica is Jay's full blooded sister, she is more Mexican looking than he, taking after their grandma, short, thicker bodied, warm brown eyes, gorgeous thick black curly hair, lovely dark skin. She was going to be dead sexy when she hit puberty. I was terrified for her.

Then there was Skylur, blonde and pale with blue eyes, thin, bouncy straight hair that curled at the tips. Perfect cheerleader type, and only three years old. She was our half-sister from another of Mom's flings.

Anyway, when I had gotten home it was obvious no one had eaten well, so I got to make a nice chicken dinner for us all, with mash potatos and corn from a can. I walked down the street to the corner Campton Heights store across the street from my Middle school, Toddy Thomas. When I got back home they had all eaten dinner and were sitting in front of the television. I hissed in my throat. I felt smothered, I felt dead. I felt like crying, but I couldn't cry anymore. I had to be stronger than that for this family.

"Okay kids!" I flipped off the tv, "It's a quarter to nine, Skylur, get your pajamas, Jessica, do your homework, Jay, shower."

"No." Jay said, starting a fight with me already. I had to work hard on out talking him instead of hitting him like normal. Unfortunately, I didn't understand that using violence to make a person listen was bad before I left for Forks. I knew better now, I knew... so much more.

And now it's raining, it's always raining. And cold. But warmer than the winter in Forks. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I sat in my dark room. I had painted the floor black and the walls Electra blue. My bed was beneath a broken window that leaked, my room was the size of a walk in closet and there was no insulation. If I weren't a werewolf, I might've been cold. I was before I changed. Always cold.

I watched the rain fall in the dark of the cold of my room, watching the lights play with the dark, waiting for Mom. The clock read 1:30. I missed Jacob. I wanted someone to rescue me from this nothingness of life. I sighed, wrapping myself in blankets, grabbing his shirt and wrapping it around a pillow. I sobbed silently, crying myself to sleep.

For the next few months, life didn't really change. I went to college listlessly, failing my classes, passing my classes, all the same now. I took care of the kids. Baths, food clothes. I cried myself to sleep every night, worse when I was on my period. I bought the food, paid some of the bills, yelled at Mom for her bad choices, got yelled at for yelling. Surprisingly though, she never touched me. I wanted her to. I wanted her to hit me, I wanted her to break her hand. And then, three weeks from my birthday, I knew why she refused to touch me.

We had gotten into an argument about her latest 'development'. I found her in bed with another woman, that woman's husband, and Mom's boyfriend. Shocked I had left and taken the kids home, but when she arrived, still higher than a kite, I screamed at her, holding back my fists through pure force of will.

"How dare you even think of putting your kids at such risk to that kind of exposure?! What the **hell** is wrong with you?"

Much to my anger, she just turned around, began walking away. I reached out, grabbing her shoulder, wrenching her around, when she snapped.

"Do not touch me you freak!"

Startled I pulled away, "Wha-?" I should have known though, I should have known from the beginning what this was about, what her hatred for me was about.

"Billy told me! Billy told me you are a monster, and that you plan on marrying a monster! You are hideous to me! No wonder I ever was jealous of you, I never would I ever had said you were more pretty than me if I had known you cheated!" Her eyes were... disgusting, her smell was disgusting. She was disgusting.

And every word she said was ripping out my heart. "Ch-cheated?" I managed through choked back sobs. Crying was weakness. If I cried, she would do this again and again until I broke under her words. "How can a p-person cheat on b-beauty?"

Her eyes were cruel, she knew she had a sensitive spot. How could she not? My mother was telling me she hated me, that she thought I was a monster. "God didn't give you these blessings." She hissed, "Satan did. You worship him, you belong to him, your body is nothing short of Hell." Then she went further, "You are not my daughter, you never were. I never really loved you. Your father never loved you. And that boy, that...thing that you loved so much. He didn;t even love you, I bet he didn;t even say good bye. You are pathetic." She hissed, watching the tears stream down my face, "You are disgusting, leave me now."

I, having nothing more to say, left. I wish I could tell myself I had done more, but I could not. I instead I walked into my room, my little walk in closet, got down my letter opener and sat on the floor, holding Jacob's shirt to my face as tears soaked the material.

_Why can't I be pretty? Why can't she love me? Why am I alone?! God, if you really love me, please, please give me someone. Right now, please?_ In my remorse, I waited a few minutes, talking to myself, consumed in my grief, and no one came.

"Of course not." I wept quietly, "My own mother doesn't love me, why would anyone else?" And my mind flashed to Jacob, whose smell was almost gone from the clothes, his face was almost gone in my mind, Forks was a long forgotten memory. And he wasn't even there when she took me. "How could he really love me?" I whispered to the knife that warped my reflection, "How, when he couldn't even say goodbye?"

And as I sawed the dull implement back and forth on my forearm, I knew that no one could hurt me like I could. No one, no mater how big or small, could rip my heart out the way I could.

I bawled when the skin healed, and healed and healed over my frantic sawing. I could do nithing to wound myself, to prove I was in control of this situation.Frantically I grew my claws, digging them into my arms, ripping them through the flesh. I shivered as the blood finally built up and spilled. I watched in a depressed, fanatic kind of way as it left little red trails, the meat mending over the bones, the skin knitting over the flesh, the blood trailing the tears that matched the ones on my face, and the release of the chemicals in my brain made me high, made me happy.

Until I realized what I had done, that I had given in again. That I truly hated myself enough to do this. I stood, I felt heavy, I felt sick, I felt... alone. I walked to my bed, I plopped down to the rain, watching as it fell, teasing my newest scar. Swearing to myself that as soon as I turned eighteen, I would never be this unhappy again, and yet, already at a spot in my life where I didn't know what to do without this sorrow.

I went into town the next day, my little run down Altima purring it's way through the streets as I drove to work. Much to my surprise, Sarah, my boss, gave me the day off. "You look like shit." She said, dismissing me. Which, for her, was saying a lot. Normally she came to work when she was sick, and expected the same kind of dedication from her employees. It was a good quality, but, at that particular moment, was bad for me when I drove back home.

The sun peaked out from behind the clouds, warming up sufficiently. I smiled, it was before noon, so the day could be a good day. I got the kids, and we went for a walk behind the park. Jay pulled me aside when Jessica and Skylur were playing on the swings.

"Are you okay? I heard Mom. What did she mean by monster?" He actually looked worried about me, I was touched by this. He always has a hard time showing emotion.

"Oh, she didn't really mean anything." I smiled falsly, "You know how she gets after she does drugs."

We were silent for a while.

"I miss James." He whispered.

I smiled sadly. James, my first crush and Jay's first real friend. Jay, because of his problems, never really fit in anywhere. I never really supported him outside of the house either. I still feel guilty for some of the things I allowed to happen to him because he made bad choices and I stood by. I cleared my throat, wiping the tears from my eyes really fast.

"I love you, Jay."

"Ew!" he looked at me with a creeped out face, "Where did that come from?"

I smiled and shrugged. "Just wanted you to know."

His eyes got really big and he jumped up, "Is Mom going to kill you? If she tries to I'll stab her, I swear."

Despite his touching loyatly, the thought of him stabbing someone, most of all our Mother, creeped me out. "She's not going to kill me. I could totally take her out anyway."

"Not-uh." He snorted, sitting back down. "You could not."

"Yes I could." I argued, "Have you seent hat woman? She's tiny. Now look at me, I'm a good forty pounds heavier than she is. I could squash her and call it an accident." We both chuckled, but the depression and the distance between us silenced our little binding moment.

Jessica ran over, asking me to push her and Skylur on the swings. I obliged, and when everyone was tired I bought us all ice cream and we walked home. I felt my soul die on the inside as we left the smell of pine behind us, though the memories of those joyful moments were nothing more than splatters of color against a canvas of grey. Just the whisper of something great that used to be there. A hint that there is a greater painting to be made, but I couldn't recall who or what, when or why. It frustrated me, gave me more stress than I had now, so I tended to push it in the back of my mind.

Unwittingly, I had forgotten the person who owned my heart and soul. I was killing myself because of a stupid boy, just like someone important said long ago. But why and who... A stranger on the street would have a better chance guessing than I, at this point.

That night, after getting yelled at for taking the kids out without asking Mom, I held a mini-party for me, one where I could be happy. I snuck out my window, and raced back to the park, turning a thirty minute walk to a fifteen second run. I breathed deeply as the air rushed to my body. Exhilarated I stripped my clothes, hiding them behind a bush somewhere I could smell them out later. I was so excited the change was upon me long before I could fully set down my shoes. 

And BAM! I was hit with one thousand thoughts, and I realized that I could hear Jacob and Embry and Quil and Sam and Leah and everyone. It would have brought tears to my eyes, I missed them so. And then all my memories, the ones I had concentrated so hard on locking away came tumbling out and slapping me with a force I could never have imagined possible, and I did the one thing I had never practiced as a wolf in Forks.

And suddenly I was hit with vibrant colors I had forgotten existed. The joys of my kisses, of my true love, of my triumphs, of my trials, my sorrow, my pains while at Forks, the place I had become alive for the first time, I had all experienced there. And Jacob, My Jacob, sweet, sweet Jacob. He was the perfect harmony to my melody. And my heart jumped and longed for his touch, his eyes, his words, his jokes, his kisses.

This was the best gift I ever could have given myself. My treasure chest opened, and I threw my head back in triumph.

And I howled.

I howled in joy, sorrow, pain, anguish, depression, yearning, needing. And, faintly, I heard Jacobs answer, and the grief was too much, and I started to turn, when I heard him. In my head I heard him, and he heard me, and he read my thoughts and he meld me as we noth became engulfed in sorrow and pain and anger.

And the rest of the pack slowly joined until we were the perfect harmony of our special song. It was more beautiful than anything else that I had ever heard, and it was form my heart and soul. And before I knew it, they were gone and I hadn't gotten a reason, and I didn;t get to let Jacob know how much I loved him. Confused I stood, chasing my tail to vent the frustration. I sat there, waiting for half an hour.

An hour.

Two hours.

And then I gave up, realizing the connection was broken. I had to move on, but this time I knew what those colored spots were, this time I could see the potential picture on my canvas. And I was determined to paint with more than blacks, whites, and reds.

The next few weeks passed, and every night, dutifully I sat behind the skating rink at Rohner Park and waited, in my wolf form, for one of the boys to contact me. Before I realized what was going on, I had just one night to go before my birthday and still not contact. 

Once again, unfortunate to say, I began to lose hope again. I began to lose faith, and my world was growing dimmer.

**_AN_ Ahh, sad thought tht this story ends in one more chapter (maybe two) and an epilogue. Please, everyone, tear. And no, I am not turnig Karissa into some emo Mary-Sue. This story (is more or less) loosely based on a real-life experience, this chapter is almost completely based on real-life. STOP WHINING PEOPLE!! Please review, pm, and/or email me constructively.**


	12. Pt 3 Ch 4

**There's a poll, for you who read and liked this, on my bio. Please vote. It's for a sequel of this exact same story, but in Jacob's POV, and maybe some more elboration on some scenes that I didn't cover in this version. But it depends, because right now I could either write it or not and I wouldn't be at all influenced by my choice, so it's up to you.**

**Chapter 12**

I trudged into my room, surprised to smell my mother all over. Usually she left my stuff alone, but not tonight. Smiling I noticed my book lying wide open. It was a special book where I had hidden money, carving a square out of the pages and gluing them together.

"Surprise, surprise." I scoffed, picking the empty hiding place back up, placing it on my shelf above the door. I dressed, pulling on a thermal shirt, a baggy t-shirt over the top, and yanking on a loose pair of soccer shorts. I threw my hair back into a ponytail; I had just gotten my hair cut to frame my face, the bottom of it tapered into a curved 'v'. It was very '70's. I loved the new look.

I walked outside my room, calling Mom. She walked in, a bit disgusted and angry, "What do you want right now? Can't you see I'm busy?" She shoved a pile of bills in my face.

"Yes," I smirked, "I can see that. However, you can't borrow money from me when you aren't going to repay it, I want my hundred fifteen back."

She opened her mouth to argue me, when I held up my hand.

"I am so disgusting to you. I don't use any of the resources in this house. I don't use your water, your heat, your food." I smiled, beyond her discrimination and anger, "You can't use my money. If you insist, then I will write you a loan, with interest and have a witness sign it. Your choice."

"You monster!!" She yelled, confused at my sudden change in mood, jealous at my beauty. "How could you take away from your siblings? Do you realize how selfish you are being?"

I smiled, leaning forward slightly, "You're selfish. Stop giving into your drug habits and your wannabe teen behaviors. Grow up. You have children, be an adult. I quit. And tomorrow, I'm moving out."

"To-tomorrow?" She paled, "Why-?"

"My birthday." I smiled, "I'm going to marry the man I love." I went silent, correcting my self, "No, I'm going to marry the were-wolf I love. You can't hurt me, you can't touch me anymore. Your words are nothing but drivel against a windshield. As long as I have Jacob, you will be nothing more than collateral damage."

"Y-your sisters- You can't abandon them!" She was desperate, it felt good to know I could make her squirm and beg at my feet, it felt good to dominate her.

I only became worried when I started to salivate at her position of weakness. "My sisters are wonderful, strong young ladies who will be more than you could ever handle. They will give you the run for your money you never had with me, you will realize that I was the easy child, and I wish you luck on your endeavor."

And with that I spun around and collapsed on my bed, more satisfied than I had ever been. But I was also sad, sad that I wouldn't be able to see my sisters any longer, not from up close anyway. Mom would never allow it, she would press false charges.

All that night I played music, I called up my friend Khirsten and we went scavenger hunting against a group of friends. We had to get shoes off some stranger, get a used box from Rite Aid, a whole meal from McDonalds, but only the garbage. Stuff like that.

It was awesome being with people who were friends, but I had to be so careful around them. When I hugged them it was like gripping fragile, aged silk. I couldn't get too emotional, in fear that I might turn and hurt them in a fit of rage, joy or even love. It was so…_human._ It was in this moment I knew how Jacob felt for Bella. It was a forlorn love that was exhilarating in the pure restrictive behaviors of it. I left them close to midnight and went for the most sensual run I've ever had. I ran through the trees as a human, nothing on, unrestricted and free.

And then I ran into something troublesome. A new werewolf, a male. He was impressive, his fur coal black with white markings over his face and spreading over his shoulders in almost a tattoo design. His eyes were sharp yellow and green, and he took me in.

His thoughts were open for me to hear, but we were not pack, and he knew it. I gathered enough to know he was the new kid at school, possibly the trigger of my change. We sat together in our wolf shapes for a while, doing nothing but being together. It was a nice change for both of us to be with someone who knew the truth of it all.

I got home later that night, crawling into bed as the sun leaked into the sky, turning it a grey-blue color. I slept for as long as possible, but was awoken by a loud yelling and the most rancid smell I could ever have imagined. Groggy I pulled myself out of bed, glaring at the clock that bleeped seven fifteen at me in a mocking, angry tone.

Pissed I got out of bed, awake enough to clothe myself. Angrily I threw open my door, breaking the hinges on accident. The wide eyes of my mother woke me up enough to realize what I had done.

"Sorry!" I explained, "I'll fix it, I swear…" And then the scent hit me. The sickly sweet smell that made me want to barf. "Mom… who's here?"

She was very pale, even for her skin color. I pushed by her, anxiety and joy rising in my chest. About six cars were piled onto our yard, driveway, and the side of the road. It ranged from a nice shiny Volvo, a beat up and old truck, a motorcycle, a jeep, and some others, but the thing that surprised me the most was the crowd on Mom's lawn.

Immediately I started to cry. I sat down and covered my face with my hands, bawling. Everyone was here for me. All the Cullens, even the ones I didn't know, and the pack, all the pack. A crowd this huge… I smiled as I smelled Khirsten making her way, slowly to my house. She was confused, as was I.

"Khirsten." I tried to clear the tears from my throat, "This is Jacob." I smiled; tears falling from my eyes again, though I wasn't sobbing for once.

Her eyes went wide as she looked at him, "You're marrying this God?"

He smiled and blushed, "I'm just Native American, Khirsten. But yes, I guess I could be considered a God…"

I punched him in the arm. "This is Sam, Leah, Emily, Embry, Quil…" Each introduction I made brought a wider grin to my face, and just when I thought it would break, I got to the Cullens.

"Khirsten, this is Bella…" She was one of them, I noticed for the first time. Her skin was pale and her face flawless. She looked like a come to life angel. Her hair was vibrant; her eyes were slightly red, but darker amber. "And her husband Edward. This is their family…" Much to my relief Edward gave me their names as I went along from the variety of beautiful people. From classical to oddity, all of them were gorgeous.

"Khirsten?" She looked as though she would faint.

"Karissa!" She turned to me with more emotion than I could fathom in one being, "How could you know so many hot guys and not tell me about it?!"

I laughed, thanking her for this. She hung out for a little, but was intimidated and left, though she had wanted to help me pack my things for my move. I gathered my stuff, saying goodbye to my sisters, who immediately fell in love with Embry and Jasper.

As we pulled out, I was snuggled against Jacob in the jeep with Emmet and Rosalie, I was finally able to ask the question I had so been longing to ask.

"How the Hell did you convince the pack to be with vampires?"

He chuckled, "We didn't have enough cars for your crap… and the pack missed you. Even Leah hinted at wanting you back. Bella was really upset that you weren't there for her wedding."

"Was it lovely?" I asked, Emmet snorted.

"It was like a fairy tale," Rosalie sighed, "Except for the part where he sucked her dry and then gave her his blood… and she started convulsing. But I heard from a very reliable source that the consummation of the marriage was fantastic."

I blushed and Emmet laughed again, "What a cute little dog. She's still so modest. C'mon Jacob! He quipped, "Haven't you done her yet?"

It was his turn to blush, the vampires laughed.

I changed the topic, "How come you guys decided to get along with us?"

Rosalie smiled, "Well, it was really quite simple. We were never that at odds with you guys in the first place, it was always the wolves who kept their biases. No offense Jacob." She amended, seeing his rebuttal on his lips. "And Bella and Edward were so in love with you. I guess you have some pretty cool ideas in that head of yours. How could we say no?"

I smiled, falling asleep on the drive back, wrapped in the arms of the person I could never be separated from again.

**One Week Later**

I watched as Alice played with my hair, a huge grin on her lips. "I can't believe you got that stupid treaty line revoked! You are the coolest dog ever! And you don't smell half bad."

I rolled my eyes, "I could say the same for you, but I'd be lying. At least I'm getting used to it." In truth, despite my calm appearance, I was nervous as all get out. I was set to marry Jacob in less than three days.

Much to my astonishment, Jacob had signed a petition to get a new house on the reservation; with the vampires helping it was built in no time at all. When I arrived home to see this gorgeous building, to know that it was built for me, well I can honestly say Jacob's head didn't recover from the surprise attack hug. Billy had set up the wedding as soon as possible.

Alice, Leah, Emily, and Rosalie were supposed to help me pick up my wedding dress today. Bella couldn't be around so many people yet, she hadn't mastered her lust for blood quite yet. Her thirsty eyes were atrocious to see, remembering her sweet and kind smiles before. Though all the Cullens assured me that she wasn't nearly as bad as they were when they were fledglings. Not a relief at all.

Alice and I were just waiting for Emily and Leah to get here, Rosalie was sent to grab them. Alice was humming, smiling, and being her happy, cheery self. I had grown to love all the vampires, their smells not nearly as suffocating as they used to be. Though Alice wouldn't let me anywhere near Jacob and I was a little more than anticipatory for a little bit of the physical relationship we used to have.

"Bad luck." Was all she would say when I asked her. The glorious thing about it all was that I could be real with these people. They could handle a hug from me; I wouldn't break them in half. I could go berserk and they wouldn't get hurt. It was a relief, one less thing I had to worry about in a world where stress killed people.

Alice opened her mouth to say something when the trio burst into the room.

Leah was grinning wickedly, "We got something for you. Just to make things more fun when you and Jacob are together…_ alone_."

Emily held up a bag that was unmistakably Victoria's Secret. Aghast I watched as Rosalie pulled out the littlest… thing I had ever seen. It wasn't a nightie, couldn't count as a nightie. It was very sheer, black silk that, when the light hit it right, was completely invisible.

Shocked I felt the blush run up my face and over my ears. "I can't wear that! Look at it! It's not anything! If I ever put it on, it would be the same as wearing nothing!"

"And what better way to turn on your wolf-boy than nothing and everything at the same time?" Emily smiled.

I was shocked. She was a silent, modest, quiet woman, but she had her sultry, darker side as well.

"F-fine." I consented, grabbing the bag and nightie, shoving the 'dress' back into the bag, but tempted beyond all reason at the idea.

"Wedding dress time!" Alice sang joyfully, yanking me off the chair and outside. Startled, it was all I could do to not fall as she dragged me into the car. Rosalie slipped into the driver's seat and smiled wickedly.

"Hang on." Much to my glee she whipped out of the reservation, Pink blaring, adrenaline rushing. Nothing could be more fulfilling, except to be with Jacob.

We stopped in the town right outside Forks, the buildings and the lights and people annoying Leah and I almost as much as the vampires. Emily took no notice to them, but was on edge due to our edginess. I smiled at her as we turned into the wedding dress shop, she slipped her hand in mine, reassuring me.

We were scheduled to have a heart-to-heart tomorrow night. I had a thousand questions and was ten times as nervous.

The woman who ran the shop ran up to us, smiling in her overly-friendly way. "I have your dress; it is ready for you to try on!"

"Try on?" I asked, dismayed, I had the thing bought in the perfect measurements, why did I have to try it on?

She looked back at me quizzically, "Why, yes. Though you gave us your measurements we need to be sure that the dress fits perfectly. Nothing is worse on a wedding day than a loose, uncomfortable or too tight dress."

Her authority hushed me, but the girls were buzzing. They hadn't seen my dress. It was custom made, no one had except me. In all honesty, I had been planning how my dress would look almost all my life, though I never gave a thought to the wedding.

She led me to a large room with curtains all around, ushering us in as one of her helpers slid the curtain shut.

She waved the dress in my direction, "Now change."

I gaped, "In front of everyone?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Of course. Now change, hurry, hurry, time is money, we need it to be perfect."

I dropped my clothes and slipped the dress on, surprised that it was a bit too tight around my chest, too loose around my waist, and the sleeves were too long. "That's weird." I stated, turning to look at the girls, "I gave them perfect…"

The dazzled look in their eyes told me I had lost them.

"You're dress-"

"You're so beautiful!"

"What a bride!"

"Jacob won't be able to wait for the Preacher." Leah smiled wickedly, making the girls titter.

The bodice was lightly patterned; the skirt hugged my waist, and then flared out into a loose skirt that twirled when I spun. The sleeves were off the shoulders, tapered to my middle fingers, some cleavage was exposed, but not enough to be sluttish. It was pure white, making my skin look darker, and my eyes brighter.

We made the adjustments to my dress, and then to my bridesmaids dresses. Emily, Leah, Alice, and Rosalie were able to pick out their dress style, the bodice was pale blue with a bold black dash starting at the breast and flaring down the blue skirt, the sleeves were trimmed in black. There was a dress in reserve for Bella, but if she wasn't coming I could sell it back to the store for the full price.

Since everything else was taken care of, we carefully placed the dresses in the trunk of Rosalie's car and went to see a movie. All the while I was thinking of that see-through dress and planning my first try at seduction.

**Later**

Rosalie dropped me off at the Reservation, Alice nervous as anything yelling to me as they drove off, "No funny business, you're a virgin bride, remember that!!"

Leah clapped me on the back; giving Alice a reassuring wave, "Don't worry, we'll be sure to keep her under control for you!"

Rosalie honked her horn, speeding off. Exhausted I trudged to the house, Emily and Leah escorting me the whole way. Exasperated I turned to them.

"I have waited longer than three days for my wedding, and to be pure. Don't worry about it, I'll manage!" I sighed, hearing footsteps inside the house that made my heart leap.

Leah smiled at Emily, who was deviously grinning, holding something behind her back. "Kriss, listen, we're werewolves, unlike vampires we realize that there are, not only the needs for sensation, but also the urge to reproduce. So, here's how we're looking out for you."

Emily shoved the bag into my hands and spun me around as Jacob opened the door. And I melted at my personal Indian god.

His skin glinted in the moonlight, his eyes were deep and intense, his hair shaggier than ever before, though slightly trimmed. He was wearing sweat pants, the ones I had left behind to be exact, but nothing on his upper torso. It was all I could do to keep my spit in my mouth as he leaned against the doorway, smiling his crooked smile.

"Ladies, what're you doing to my bride?"

"We're protecting her from your lustful advances." Leah snapped back, turning from the woman I had grown closer to, to the woman Jacob was familiar with.

He rolled his eyes, gathering me into a hug, "Yeah, well let's see if you can- Hey!" he snatched the bag from me.

"No, Jacob wait I- Don't, Hold on…" But it was too late, I spun to Leah and Emily, but they had disappeared. Slowly pivoting back to Jacob, his eyebrow was cocked as he reached into the bag and pulled out the currently sheer dress.

"Holy fuck." His only words.

"Umm…" My heart was racing, "Don't jump to conclusions, I can explain. I-I-I… Ohmigosh!!" The blush was so intense I could feel it burning my already feverishly hot face.

"Karissa." He scolded, my eyes were shut too tight, I was so humiliated, "I thought I had told you my size."

My eyes snapped open to a scene of my six foot something Jacob holding this skimpy nightdress up to his bare abdomen. The hem didn't reach his belly button. His pose was so ridiculous I had to laugh. He smiled, touching my cheek.

"Come on, my Love, let's see if I can fit into this thing. But ya'know, if you wanted me to wear a shirt, you just had to say so." He smiled, swooping my into his arms, quickly changing the mood from playful to erotic with his eyes.

Startled, anticipating, I brought my lips to his tentatively. He would have none of that, he crushed his lips against mine, and his tongue running circles against the roof of my mouth. His breathing became more labored, as did mine; he pressed me against the wall, ducking down; his arms on either side of me. Eagerly I wrapped my legs around him, when he laughed softly.

"Oh, I want this too, baby, but we're waiting for the wedding." He untangled my legs from around him. I protested, feeling foolish for being so eager for him. I felt his smile in the crook of my neck. "Sweetheart, I need you just as badly, but I am honoring your wish."

I yanked his head away by the hair so he could look at me while I spoke. "Fuck my wish, and fuck me!"

The resolve in his eyes wavered, and I hatched a plan. "Fine!" I shouted, snatching my skimpy dress from him, "We'll do it your way. But I will haunt you the best I can until that day."

His eyes widened as I grabbed his manhood through his pants and leaned in, allowing my lips to tickle his ear as I whispered in the most seductive voice I could muster, "I want you ready to explode, Jacob." I pronounced each syllable, accentuating with a long and hard jerk of my hand. I felt his member grow bigger.

Totally satisfied that he was mine to meld, I strutted into the bedroom. Throwing the nightie to the side I changed into a baggy t-shirt, picking out a black bra and a pair of underwear that were red with white and black words all over them. Just incase the shirt hiked up during the night, or I bent over and the shirt didn't cover enough.

I let down my hair, running my fingers through it to get rid of the tangles, when Jacob bumped into me. I fell onto the floor, my legs sprawled, and the shirt hiked up just enough to see a hint of red and the word "hot" in black.

_Perfect_. I fought a smile as I looked up at Jacob, who was having such a hard time I felt kind of bad.

"Sorry." He mumbled, "Just on my way to the bathroom." He helped me up, not looking at me at all, and moved right on.

I sat there, on the bed, listening to him huffing and groaning as the minute wore on. Finally I got too angry to just sit there anymore. I pounded on the door.

His breath was labored, "In a minute."

"No, damnit, now!" I turned the knob, accidentally breaking the lock with my burst of strength. And there he was. All of _him_, hard, swollen, encased in his hand for the world to see. I spun around, averting my gaze. "S-so… you're really set on this?"

Much to my surprise I felt him come up behind me, his hardened member pressing against my lower back, his arms wrapped around my chest. And oddly enough, it was the most endearing thing as of yet. Just to stand there with him, all the pressure and lust gone with the simple kiss he planted on the top of my head.

His simple answer was, "I promised."

I nodded, kissing his arms in return, "I understand. Thank you, I'm sorry…" I felt his smile, and it was so comforting. The wonder that I had been missing all this time was holding me right now.

He spun me around, "I'll see you later, now give me some privacy, I have some matters to attend to." He sighed, "And a door to fix."

"Sorry." I mumbled, blushing.

The last two days went without incident, and, before I realized what had happened, I was standing in front of two large oak doors, the skies grey but the weather warm. And then the bridal music started. Nervous I watched as each of the gorgeous Bridesmaids walked out the doors, allowing my glances of my blue, black and white themed church wedding.

I felt my body tense as Quil and Claire made their way down with the rings, her cute little giggle as someone snapped pictures. Probably Sam. And then it was my turn.

I stepped outside the doors and a collective gasp was heard. The Cullens on one side, the wolves on the other. Slowly I made the solitary trip down the aisle, the scent of roses lightly filled the room, the Preacher in his outfit, standing in front of a simple pulpit.

Jacob had shaved his head completely bald at the beginning of the day, and now it was more like a thick buzz-cut, and growing. He had on a stunning tux, black with a baby blue shirt. He wrapped his arm in mine, and through out the whole procedure I was entranced, we hadn't done a rehearsal dinner, so when Jacob said he had vows to say, I could honestly admit to my shock.

"Karissa," I smiled, fighting tears, "I know this may be something everyone knows, but I love you, and I will dedicate the rest of my life to you, where ever you are is where I'll be. You stole my heart with your weird way of talking and the conversations you have to yourself. I love watching you play yourself in a game of cards, and I'm always amazed at your take in life. Everything is fresh, fairytale, new. I can't wait to spend my life with you; I can't wait to be the father of your children. And when you grow old, I will too."

And everyone but the humans knew the significance of that line. Then it was my turn.

"Jacob…" I had to pause and gather my composure, the tears in my eyes threatening to well and spill, "Jacob, my life was a canvas, and before you, before this, I was painting in blacks and whites. Everything since the moment I met you, every moment I was with you, you made me alive, and colors were introduced to my canvas. I can't wait to see the picture you inspire me to paint."

He smiled, "See folks, this is what I mean about her weird talking style. It's captivating." The crowd tittered and the Preacher continued.

Then Claire brought the rings, I grabbed Jacobs, a plain silver band, and he snatched mine, a plain silver band with a single sapphire inlaid into it. We chose these rings for the irony of it all. Werewolves with silver jewelry. Classic.

And then we kissed, and it was short and sweet, but so much weight was in this one meeting of our lips that had never been there before, and we pulled apart with a dazzle in our minds that I knew would never fade.

**_AN_ Almost the end. One more chapter and an Epilogue. I'm both excited and disappointed at the prospect. Excited because, I have never, NEVER finished a story, sad because I'll miss you guys. I love you all. But hey, now I'll be able to turn my attention to Earth Sings and re-writing that. It won't be more than ten chapters, I hope. Stay in-tune, I'm gonna be writing more lemons in the soon to be future, just in different areas, and I'm trying to expand my styles, so that should be interesting,.**


	13. Pt 3 Ch 5

**Chapter 13 **

Overall the evening went well. Despite the fact that my sisters, brother, mother and father was missing, I was surrounded by people who really knew and loved me. Even Bella was able to make it, and she was just as easy to get along with as ever. I smiled at Jacob, who had wanted to skip the reception and move on to the honeymoon.

Of course, I wanted the cake. It had real frosting and custard filling. The best kind of cake ever. And then on came the Macarena, and he had to dance with me to that. It was hysterical, he stepped on my dress, I elbowed him in the gut, and even Edward managed to do something ungraceful and clumsy. He accidentally spilled his drink on Alice, who laughed at his bemused expression so hard we were a little concerned for her brain. And before we knew it, a couple hours had passed and we decided to stay a little longer.

We skipped the Father daughter dance, but loved watching as Carlisle danced with Rosalie, Alice, and Bella, as did Charlie, Sam danced with Clarice, and then, much to my surprise, Billy rolled up to me.

"May I have this dance?" He smiled at me.

I laughed back, only to realize he was serious. "Billy, I-I can't… I'm not really your daughter… it's kind of like lying, right?"

He laughed, "If you hadn't noticed, sweetie, you married my son. Makes you my daughter, and we might not be the hottest topic on the floor, but we will be talked about forever."

I smiled and took his hand, carefully making sure I didn't get my dress caught in his wheels as he spun around, doing the weirdest 'dance' moves I had ever seen. They matched perfectly with the next song that came on. Leah interrupted us and entertained Billy, shooting a look to me that said to get the heck out or die.

I withdrew to our table and sat nearly on Jacob's lap. He smiled, "I hope you know what this means."

I looked at his mischievous expression and answered with an honest no.

"You are giving me hundreds of little ones just like you." I smiled as he kissed my hand. I stood, still holding his fingers tightly.

Somehow, without a lot of commotion, we were able to slip away from the reception. I laughed as we walked into the forest. "The newlyweds ditching their reception. How often does that happen, I wonder?"

He smiled back, squeezing my hand tighter. Nothing could bring a frown to our faces this night, and yet, somehow, I was dreading the moment we were alone together. Yes, we had come close to sex many times… but it never actually happened, and what if it hurt, or what if he didn't like the way I looked. Jacob interrupted my worries with a light kiss on my cheek.

"Stop thinking, Baby. You're gonna scare yourself away from me." I looked into his worried eyes, and felt selfish.

Here I was, worrying about what he'd think of me, when he was here, more insecure and more heartbroken than I had ever been. "Just… just what if you don't like me? Or what if it hurts? Or what if I do something you won't like?"

We stopped walking at the bottom of a dune, the moon shining bright on us, the waves crashing, the stars dancing. He laughed, bringing me into a tight hug, all the reassurance I would need for the rest of my life, and somehow, with my worries, my dress slipped off my shoulders as well.

"You are so beautiful, Kriss." He whispered, looking at my eyes, then slowly taking in my exposed collar bone, shoulders, neck. "Every bit of you is flawless, every mole, freckle, scar. I can't get enough of you…" His eyes were soft and venerable, "It kinda scares me. I may look older, but I'm still a little kid, Kriss. What if I can't make you happy? What if…"

I took hold of his hand, "Now it's my turn to reassure you." I frowned, "But we are not having sex on the beach. I do not want sand anywhere on this dress. Or on me, for that matter."

He laughed, "Agreed, but if we go home they'll find us."

"So. If they can hear then they'll leave us alone." I shrugged, starting the short trek home.

"You didn't let me finish." He stated, catching up rather quickly. "But if we go home, they will find us, that's why Edward gave me this."

In front of me, Jacob waved a little blue card. I looked in awe, "A ten thousand dollar gift card?! For what?"

He smiled slyly, "It's kinda like a credit card. It's for anything. I figured we could go rent a hotel room, or a cottage somewhere and just chill for a while."

"Jacob…" I was honestly stunned. "How… I mean… Wow. I thought you didn't like Edward, what happened to accepting gifts?"

He opened the front door for me, "We have twenty minutes to pack. Take only necessities and we're off. I went ahead and reserved a room for us."

"Where?" My head snapped around to look at him; I was paused halfway through the bedroom door.

He walked a bit closer, "Oh you know how these things go…" I narrowed my eyes in apprehension. "It's a surprise." His smile was a mile wide. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

I grabbed my backpack, filling it with two pants, pajamas, a couple of shirts, some under clothes, and just in case the nightie that the Girls bought me.

"Fifteen minutes." Jacob whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist, nuzzling into my hair. "God, Kriss, you smell good." I smiled as his hands tightened on my waist.

I sighed, holding the most important debate in my life in my head right then. _If I have sex with him now, it'll hurt and it won't be romantic, and it won't be… Like on tv. If I wait later, it will still hurt, and the apprehension will make both of us so high strung…MAKE UP YOUR MIND!_ I mentally screamed at myself, placing my hands on either side of my head. Jacob grabbed them and spun me around slowly.

"I'll only do what you say to." The honesty in his eyes sealed the deal.

I turned around, "I need help getting changed." I could feel the warmth of his body as he edged closer to me. I took all the little white flowers out of my hair, removed the bobby pins, all five hundred of the danged things, then lifted my hair. "If you could unzip me, please?"

For a while all I could feel was the fumble of fabric and metal against my skin, but soon enough the knuckles of his hands were running along my spine, sending signals of crazy to my brain. I shivered.

He chuckled, "I forgot you're ticklish everywhere."

I turned to him, "How could you forget?! You tickle me almost everyday!" I hadn't realized that, subconsciously, I had been holding my dress up with my elbows, and now that he had finished unzipping me I had crossed my arms over the front of the dress to keep it up.

His eyes clouded over a little as he seized my hands, once again, and lowered them to my sides. Immediately the front sagged down, I fought the urge to fix it as his hands left mine, going to his own tuxedo, removing the jacket, loosening the tie. I reached forward, stepping closer, closing the gap between us even further.

Our breath mingled as I slowly opened the buttons, the anticipation was half of the fun at this point. We had made it an unspoken competition between us; who could last longest? I pulled the shirt out of his pants, sliding it off his body to once again reveal his perfect form. Amazed I couldn't resists running my fingers along his muscles. I giggled as his body contracted and released under my touch.

My hand paused just above his belt, I looked at him.

He smiled, "Thirteen minutes."

I laughed, undoing his belt with a decisive jerk. He then held his hand up for me to stop, "I'll do the rest, now you, get naked."

I was pretty sure he was expecting me to argue or say something about having free will. He was shocked when I dropped the dress completely, stepping out and away, picking it up and setting it on the bed to keep it nice. Then I realized what I had done and blushed, a little embarrassed. Then he dropped his pants, taking off his shoes and socks.

I removed my bra. And there we were, both of us standing there in front of one another with nothing in between us and nothing but underwear on us. And I was frightened. I couldn't move.

"Jacob… You need to make the first move here. I can't do it." I think he understood what I was saying and immediately closed the distance, gripping my forearms with his hands, pressing his lips to mine in a firm caress.

I wriggled free of his grasp, wrapping my arms around his neck, bringing us closer. The heat of our bodies was amazing as his body grazed against my breasts. He stumbled forward, collapsing us onto the bed. Somehow I had lost my underwear, and he had lost his. And then I saw him, all of him, naked all a once.

From the hair on his head to the trail leading to his member he was perfect, his muscular legs, his whole body was truly that of a man who was in perfect health. I caught his gaze, and he moved slowly, as if afraid that I would pull away from him after seeing what would be penetrating me. His fingers slid along my body, his lips trailed down my neck, each touch was as if he had set fire underneath my skin, causing fireworks to explode in my brain. His fingers rested above my womanhood.

I leaned forward, looking into his eyes, guiding his hand to where it needed to go. "Nine minutes." I laughed, my words breathy and intensive. I gasped as his fingers hit gold, I felt him smile. His lips wrapped around my nipple, his other hand was busy kneading the bedsheets.

His careful, slow massaging stopped as he looked down at me. I whined, "Why are you stopping?"

His breath was shaky, as though he was holding back. "I- I don't want to hurt you, but what if I can't help it?"

I laughed; it was a short bark of a laugh that could have come off as cruel. Exasperated I grabbed his hips, guiding him towards my womanhood. "C'mon Jacob. Make me scream your name. I may be pretty, but I want to feel like you'll break me in half, understand."

He smiled through his intense blush, "Seven minutes."

With that he plunged himself into my body, making me gasp in pain and pleasure, the intense meeting of both rocked my body in a moment of shock to the brain. And then he plunged again, and again and again, each one bringing a more and more intense reaction from within my body.

My breath quickened, I felt myself lubricating enough for both of us.

"Jacob…" I moaned, raking my nails down his back, wanting more, wanting him to be truly a part of me, to be so far inside we could never be separated.

He groaned, pinning my arms to the bed, his eyes taking on a dominant gleam. His pelvis meeting mine, his lips nipping, biting and licking all over my body as I was absolutely helpless. And each time he thrust into me, the electric waves of pleasure and pain were that much more intense.

"Jacob!" I was gasping at this point, my breath shallow and my voice hoarse. I struggled against his arms, wanting to grab him, to force him into me, my hips gyrating against his own on their own accord only made this wonderful torture end faster, but I couldn't stop, didn't want to.

And then I felt us climax, and he kissed me all over my face and neck and chest. "I love you Kriss." He smiled, "I love you so much."

I was just gasping for air, unable to say a word in return. His hand brushed against my breast and I felt as though I would explode from the already on fire nerves. When I had finally caught my breath I turned to him, "I've never felt that good ever."

He smiled widened; he was peeling off the condom and began getting dressed as I lay there, too tired to move. I felt as though someone had tried to shove a triangle into a square, I felt stretched out.

He bent over me, replacing my bra, slipping one of his button up shirts around me. And I started to cry. He went and got a wash cloth and cleaned up my vaginal area, then slipped on a pair of underwear and a pair of shorts.

He stood back up and leaned over me, kissing at my tears. "Why are you crying?"

"Because!" I bawled, "You are so good to me, Jacob!"

"You said my name the whole time, Kriss." He grinned, looking as pleased as a puffed up rooster, "Plus I made you bleed… I'm sorry."

I giggled, "It's supposed to happen when you have sex with a virgin. Most of us girls are born with a thin layer of skin, or membrane, and when we have sex it get's punctured or torn or something."

"So it hurt?"

"A little. But the good far outweighed the bad. If it didn't I wouldn't have let you keep going."

He smiled, lifting me and carrying me out to the car. I was upset when he left, but then he returned with our stuff. I looked at him quizzically.

He started the car, smiling at me, "One minute."

We were half an hour into the drive when he started talking to me, only I was so exhausted I'm not sure he understood my answers very well.

"So, why am I wearing a condom? We're married, and I don't have any diseases." His fingers pattered on the wheel in an unsteady rhythm that sounded like a song I could almost remember.

"I don't want kids right off the bat." I explained, "I want some time with you, at least two years."

He shook his head, "Not two years. I agree that we should have time together, but I want kids now."

"Jacob!" I was shocked, "You are only sixteen. If you had a child right now, think of how they would feel about that. When they were twenty, you'd be thirty-six. Not a very good leverage for respect and obedience. Plus it's my body, I think I deserve that respect."

He thought for a minute, then got a wicked smile that made my body shiver. "Fine. But only if I get to screw you in wolf form."

My jaw dropped in shock, "Wait, wait, wait! You mean when we're both wolves, right?"

"Well yeah, but if you wanna switch it up then…" He left the question to my pondering.

I tried to imagine it, but the thought thoroughly turned me off and almost made me sick. "We both have to be wolf for me to agree to that."

He shrugged, "Fine." He smiled again, "So, was I pretty good?"

"Gehdg. Jacob!" I slapped his arm, "I have no one to compare you with, so of course you were! Made me happy enough anyway."

We were silent for a while when he began humming. His voice was a gorgeous alto ringing faintly.

"You're beautiful." I whispered, almost asleep. "You're voice… I mean, I'm tired."

He chuckled, "Of course you are. Go to sleep, babe. We'll be there in about two hours."

"I love you." I whispered, "Please hum again. It sounded like a lullabye. What is it?"

I could feel his blush from the passengers seat with my eyes closed.

"You know all those Christian cd's you own? Well, I listened to one of them… that Plumb chick… that one song of her's, God Will Take Care of You. It's such a beautiful song, I can't get the tune out of my head."

I smiled, though I wasn't sure he could see it, "That's good, because the kids are going to be going to church. And I've already got names for them."

"Oh yeah?" His voice seemed mocking, "What are they?"

I shook my head, "Not until they are born." With a sudden burst of energy I sat up and looked right at him, startling him enough to make him serve into the passing lane.

"Shit, woman!" He snapped, "I just almost killed us with your little energy boost!"

"You had better give me twins, Wolf-boy." I ordered, laying back down and curling up. "Please hum again." I repeated, "You've got such a nice voice."

And I fell asleep to his voice, and when I woke back up he was still humming.

** THE END**

**_AN_ There's still an epilogue coming people. so don't tune out yet, you may learn some of those names Karissa has been saving for her twins... er... I mean, kids.**


	14. EPILOGUE

**Epilogue**

I waddled into the living room of Sam's house, puffing after the not-so long trek from the bathroom. Jacob was sitting with Sam and Paul, another of the wolves in our pack, looking anxious as ever.

I rolled my eyes, grunting my way into a sitting position. We had been married for one and a half years when he decided to start looking at kittens in the pet shop. That's when I knew we had to have kids.

Don't get me wrong, I love cats, but Jacob didn't, and they didn't like him. At all. And seeing him with that yowling, spitting ball of fuzz, with its claws sunk into his skin as deep as they could go, and his begging face, I knew it was time. So I got pregnant.

I spent seven months confined to my human body because we didn't know how the stress of the change would affect the embryo, and then I had two beautiful children after eighteen hours of unbearable pain. I cussed the world, cursed Jacob, broke into tears, told him how sorry I was.

The funniest thing I had said he caught on film. It was just after a contraction, when I was yelling to the doctors how much I wanted to rip the father's special parts off, and how he was a jackass to have done this to me. I had said, "Jacob, I'm so sorry you Mother Fucking Bitch!! I love you, you prick."

It was my attempt to apologize through the pain. It was hysterical.

But when all was said and done, I was holding two precious little babies. One I named Ezra, the girl, I had her one minute before the boy, who I named Ezekiel. Much to my surprise, they were perfect blends of us. The girl had her father's dark skin, but my hair, her fathers eyes, but my body shape. The boy had my skin, his father's hair, my eyes, but his build. I had never seen such beautiful children. They weighed in at six pounds six ounces, both of them. The boy was twenty-two inches, the girl was twenty and a half.

They grew up, their first birthday was right around the corner, and here I was, pregnant again. Three months after they had stopped breast feeding, I realized that my belly was growing, again. We found out later on that I was having one baby this time. The doctors said I was slightly after my first trimester.

Well now I was onto ending my second trimester, bigger than a blimp, and feeling like the fattest, ugliest thing this side of yesterday. Jacob, however, was in love with my "Mother Look", as he so affectionately dubbed it. I wanted to rip his arms off for making me go through this again, but somehow I loved it. It was just too confusing to dwell on, so I focused on the child. We didn't know the sex, didn't want to know the sex, so I had fun throwing names at Jacob, we had a competition going on between us that usually ended in me laughing and his kissing me.

The reason we were at Sam's was because of Emily, she was pregnant again, but there were some complications and she was hospitalized two months too early. He was a nervous wreck, blaming himself, Jacob understood to a certain extent, Paul was clueless, but a nice enough guy that he wanted to be there to help.

After so much time, Jacob had taken over the full position of Alpha, Sam gratefully stepped down, taking the role of Beta, which was slightly uncomfortable because Leah was also Beta, but she was so over Sam and so into Paul that it was a little startling; her nonchalance over the guy. I sighed, closing my eyes. This little sucker inside of me was draining my energy; I was urinating for the two of us, eating for the two of us, and sleeping enough for half of me.

Every time I would doze off, this little bugger would start thrashing around inside of me like there was a concert and it was the mosh pit. Then I would have to wake Jacob up and make him sing, it was the only thing that made the baby settle down, not to mention our other kids in the basinet beside the bed. When one was crying the other would be asleep, and as soon as we got the crying one to go to sleep, the other would wake up and bawl.

It was funny watching their little personalities. Even at this age Ezra was obviously a social butterfly. She started cooing and gargling as soon as she saw someone coming close to her, waving her little arms and scooting towards them. She was going to be a knock out with her big dark eyes. Ezekiel, on the other hand, was very Alpha material. He was more silent, tended to enjoy being to himself, but was always there for Ezra when she was crying, even me and Jacob when we were upset. He would lift his little hand and set it on our cheek, giving a big toothless grin and always was googling something until we smiled.

Jacob was very proud of his babies, and very proud that he made twins.

"Just like I promised, baby." He would gloat, and then I'd remind him who carried the little devils for seven months.

It was a miracle they didn't need to stay in the hospital, but they were perfectly formed and even large for premature babies. Billy later let me know that it was the werewolf in them, and that we should keep an eye on their development just in case.

But now we were worried about Emily, Ezra and Ezekiel playing with some old Sesame Street toys that squeaked and Clarice was with Quil. And suddenly, as if I had the best idea in the world, I turned to Paul.

"Why don't you drive Sam to the hospital, Paul? I mean, if he's so worried, he should at least be where she is, right?" The guys looked at me as though I was genius.

"Why didn't we think of that?" Sam looked stumped, jumping out of the chair, racing around the house and collecting his things. Jacob walked over to me, helping me out of the chair.

"C'mon babies!" He smiled, squatting next to the twins, "We're going to go home now!" The gurgled in joy at seeing their father at their level. I smiled softly, resting my hand on my protruding belly. He scooped the kids up, one in each arm, as Sam and Paul raced outside, climbing into the truck. I waved as they pulled away, Sam yelling to go faster, waving, and worried all at the same time. It was funny to see how pregnant women and children could change a man's attitude.

I waddled next to Jacob as we walked home. I paused halfway there reaching out and touching Jacob.

"You're a good daddy." I stated.

His eyes warmed up, looking at me and the babies in his arms, "I've had a good wife." He smiled, leaning over and kissing my forehead. I opened the door to our house for him, watching with a certian tenderness as he set the babies in their happycamper. He spun around, catching me looking at him wistfully. Embarrassed I turned around, hiding the blush on my face, walking into the kitchen. I was seriously craving ice cream, pickles and bananas.

I heard him walk up behind me. I grinned shyly as he placed both hands on my waist, resting his hips against my lower back, kissing my ear.

"You're so sexy, baby." I laughed at the honest to God lust in his voice.

"You're so blind." I tried to brush him off, shaking free of his grasp, setting down the carton of lard and sugar, looking for a bowl, "Do we have pickles?"

Much to my dismay he followed me, cutting me off with a firm planting of his arm across my path. I looked up at him exasperated, only to be met with one of his most intense gazes he could muster. I froze looking at him, at his eyes, at the serious expression on his face.

"I seriously wanna fuck you so hard you can't stand."

My jaw dropped. He had said stuff like this before and after I was pregnant, but ...I was pregnant! That didn;t mean I wasn't lustful or that I didn't get horny, but I honestly didn't think I could be attractive. I smiled coyly, kissing him lightly on the lips.

"God gave you hands for a reason man. You'll just have to wait till this child comes out." I smiled, walking around him and his shocked, dejected self.

"How do you do that?!" He spun around to face me, "How can you just say no to sex?!"

"I'm not in the mood." I grinned wider as he huffed in astonishment. I grabbe dthe pickles and snatched a banana.

"You seriously weren't turned on by what I said at all?"

"Umm.. not really... Kinda, but I'm just not feeling like it."

"Dude..." He sat across the table form me, watching me scoop together this disgusting mass I was sure would make me happy. "If you had said something like that to me, I'd be all over that like bees on honey."

I snorted, "Yeah, I know you would."

He rolled his eyes, exasperated, letting his head fall to the table in surrender. "Make me some, will ya?"

**----Three Years Later----**

"Jacob!" I screamed from the bed, "My water broke!!"

I heard him clattering around down stairs in a panic. "SAM!!! SAM!!! Goddamnit SAM!!! She's giving birth!!!"

I smiled as Emily began up the stairs with her little baby boy. We weren't yet sure, but we believed that he and Ezra were imprinted. She walked in looking at me kindly, "I've got the kids in the van, let's get you going honey."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, waddling out the door for the third time in my life to go to the hospital. I glared at Jacob, who was running around frantically. "I hate you." I hissed, crawling into the van we had to buy to fit our growing family. Ezra and Ezekiel were five now, and both were beautiful werewolves. Turned at the age of four for the first time, scaring us to death. Though, I guess the change is easier for them at a young age to the fact that they have more bones. Ezra was a lovely reddish blond color with my build, Ezekiel was more like his dad, but less scruffy with a shockingly white belly.

The newest addition, Gabriel, was 3 years old and had dark blonde hair, blue eyes, but incredibly dark skin. And now number four was on the way.

I sighed as Jacob careened down the road, "Is it always going to be like this?"

"Hey!" he snapped, "No complaining, I am giving you everything you said you wanted."

I smiled, "yeah... I love you."

His big hand wrapped around mine, "I love you too."


End file.
